Now, I bet that title got your attention, didn't it? This is just going to be a short post with a few tips in it.
The reason I decided to write this is because I have seen or been in groups of Christian teens (youth group types of groups), where the kids are way too familiar with each other. I call it "Christian" flirting. Another words, it's an 'underground' type of flirting (of course, sometimes it's more obvious) that they justify by saying "We're brothers and sisters... In Christ."
Now I'm not sure if they actually think that what they are doing is fine, or if they know that they're being flirtatious. But regardless of that, when you are in a group like that it is important that you don't just do the easy thing and follow the lead of the crowd.
Here are a few things that definitely give the wrong idea...
1. Sitting on a boy's lap is never EVER appropriate for ANY reason. (I have noticed that teens like to do things like squishing everyone in the group onto one couch. I never was the type of person who liked being that close to anyone, but, if you must do this, you could always sit on one of your *female* friend's lap instead.)
2. "Making eyes" at someone. This is a very flirtatious thing. I think that we all know what it looks like because we've noticed other girls doing it.
3. Holding hands with a boy... Not a good idea.
4. Most people are fine hugging people goodbye, but if you can't keep your emotions pure when hugging boys, than don't do it. I know that a lot of people are not raised in a "I hug people goodbye" kind of home, and I have noticed that some girls develop feelings for young men when they hug them goodbye every Sunday. If someone is coming to give you a hug and you don't wish to hug them, my Grandpa says that you should just extend your hand and wait for them to realize that you wish to shake hands instead.
5. Games like "Telephone Booth" or games where you crawl around in the dark are NEVER appropriate.
6. I never liked it when girls and boys would push each other around, it seems very flirtatious to me.
Ok, here are a few things that are fine...
1. If a girl is hurt(ie: she can't walk) and has to get to a car or whatever, it is entirely appropriate for one of the stronger people in the group (presumably a guy), to carry or help her in some way. Although when I hurt my ankle and couldn't walk on it, I didn't need to be carried, I just needed someone to hold my arm so that I would fall over.
2. In most cases hugging someone goodbye is just fine.
3. It is not a problem to joke around as long as the jokes don't become inappropriate.
Basically, if you feel fine doing it, it's usually fine (unless it's something wrong, of course), if you get a thrill from it or feel funny about it, don't do it! ;-)
Hope that was helpful! Have a nice day ladies!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
Just a note
This past March I had the honor of being asked to be the 'cover girl' for Growing in Grace Magazine.
If you're interested you can read my interview here http://www.growingingraceonline.com/
If you're interested you can read my interview here http://www.growingingraceonline.com/
Friday, April 4, 2008
Disagreements (And a new Poll)
Lately I've been thinking about how we should respond when we have a minor disagreement with someone, or when someone is critical of us.
It is always slightly disturbing to find that someone has misunderstood us or disagrees with how we act or think, but how can we respond in a godly way?
1. Think before you speak or act in response to criticism or disagreement. Proverbs 15:28 says "The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil."
2. Make sure that you really understand what the person is saying. "He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame." Proverbs 18:13
3. Respond politely and with humility. Even if they are in the wrong, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
4. Never respond out of annoyance, or by saying something rude about the other person, even if it is true. "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." Proverbs 12:16
5. If you have been falsely 'accused' of something, Proverbs 12:19 says "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment."
6. If you are the one who sees something wrong in someone else, pray about it before you say anything. You never know how you can hurt someone. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18. "The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful." Proverbs 12:22.
For the most part, God is the one who must convict someone of their sin, and your part is to pray, not accuse. If you think that you must say something, be very, very, sure that you love the person as Jesus would have you, and that what you are going to tell them is the truth.
7. Never gossip about something that someone did wrong to you. It is ok to talk to your parents, or to a close friend if you need to talk about it, but don't just go 'blabbing it' to anyone you meet. "A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly." Proverbs 12:23
8. And lastly, if someone has showed you something in yourself that you see is a problem, change it! :-) "He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored." Proverbs 13:18
Here are a few more verses that have been helpful to me. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Proverbs 27:6
"Anger is cruel and fury is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?" Proverbs 27:4
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20
(Have you noticed that I love the book of Proverbs?) :-)
I also have a new poll up, so feel free to vote. Here are the results from the last one.
Perhaps I should do a post on why modesty and what it is sometime. ;-)
It is always slightly disturbing to find that someone has misunderstood us or disagrees with how we act or think, but how can we respond in a godly way?
1. Think before you speak or act in response to criticism or disagreement. Proverbs 15:28 says "The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil."
2. Make sure that you really understand what the person is saying. "He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame." Proverbs 18:13
3. Respond politely and with humility. Even if they are in the wrong, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
4. Never respond out of annoyance, or by saying something rude about the other person, even if it is true. "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." Proverbs 12:16
5. If you have been falsely 'accused' of something, Proverbs 12:19 says "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment."
6. If you are the one who sees something wrong in someone else, pray about it before you say anything. You never know how you can hurt someone. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18. "The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful." Proverbs 12:22.
For the most part, God is the one who must convict someone of their sin, and your part is to pray, not accuse. If you think that you must say something, be very, very, sure that you love the person as Jesus would have you, and that what you are going to tell them is the truth.
7. Never gossip about something that someone did wrong to you. It is ok to talk to your parents, or to a close friend if you need to talk about it, but don't just go 'blabbing it' to anyone you meet. "A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly." Proverbs 12:23
8. And lastly, if someone has showed you something in yourself that you see is a problem, change it! :-) "He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored." Proverbs 13:18
Here are a few more verses that have been helpful to me. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Proverbs 27:6
"Anger is cruel and fury is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?" Proverbs 27:4
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20
(Have you noticed that I love the book of Proverbs?) :-)
I also have a new poll up, so feel free to vote. Here are the results from the last one.
| What do you think when you hear the word "Modesty"? It's interchangeable with "Frumpy" | 2 (8%) |
| It's just an attitude | 3 (13%) |
| Beautiful skirts and dresses | 14 (60%) |
| A way of moving | 7 (30%) |
| Boring | 2 (8%) |
| Other (leave a comment and explain) | 6 (26%) |
Perhaps I should do a post on why modesty and what it is sometime. ;-)
Monday, March 10, 2008
Respect
Everyone wants to be treated with respect, but not everyone knows how to be. Today I'm just going to give you a few ideas on how to be treated with respect.
1. Act respectable. No one is going to respect you if you always lose your temper, or act flirtatiously, or act disrespectfully to someone else.
2. Always treat Adults with respect, whether they deserve it or not.
3. Good posture is very helpful.
4. Do not allow people to treat you in an ungodly way. It is not wrong to walk away, and go stand by your parents.
5. Do not act ashamed of what you believe or ashamed of your family.
6. Always admit when you acted wrongfully and apologize for it.
While these ideas can help, they are not going to do you any good unless you have the Fruit of the Spirit in your life. So once again, prayer and Bible reading are just about the most important things. :-)
1. Act respectable. No one is going to respect you if you always lose your temper, or act flirtatiously, or act disrespectfully to someone else.
2. Always treat Adults with respect, whether they deserve it or not.
3. Good posture is very helpful.
4. Do not allow people to treat you in an ungodly way. It is not wrong to walk away, and go stand by your parents.
5. Do not act ashamed of what you believe or ashamed of your family.
6. Always admit when you acted wrongfully and apologize for it.
While these ideas can help, they are not going to do you any good unless you have the Fruit of the Spirit in your life. So once again, prayer and Bible reading are just about the most important things. :-)
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Responding in Love
My apologies for not posting in so long! I started this post back in February, and then couldn't seem to get anywhere with it. But I finally sat down and said, "I'm going to finish this post TONIGHT!" So here it is. :-)
The Free Online Dictionary (www.thefreedictionary.com) defines "Character" as
1. The combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another. See Synonyms at disposition.
The Free Online Dictionary (www.thefreedictionary.com) defines "Character" as
1. The combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another. See Synonyms at disposition.
2. A distinguishing feature or attribute, as of an individual, group, or category. See Synonyms at quality.
4. Moral or ethical strength.
5. A description of a person's attributes, traits, or abilities. (Emphasis added)
Your character defines who you are, how and why you react to different things, your reputation, your good and bad qualities, whether you are trustworthy or not, etc.
There are many aspects to a person's character, but right now let's focus on how we should respond to people who are rude, who disagree with us, who treat us badly, and who slander (0r talk bad about) us.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Now there are many, many verses that tell us "a soft answer turns away wrath" "Be slow to become angry" etc. But the one above is my favorite. (If you wish to read the rest of chapter 4, it's very good and can be found here. Just type in Ephesians 4.)
So now we know how we're supposed to respond, but easier said than done, right?
Here are a few ideas of how to keep from responding in an ungodly way.
1. Pray and read your Bible. If your mind is filled with Christ, your automatic response to conflict will slowly change to be more Biblical.
2. Take a moment to cool down before replying. You can keep yourself from doing something really stupid if you don't react immediately.
3. If the rudeness is in an e-mail, wait a few days to respond. Sometimes it helps to show it to your parents, who will probably have some good ideas of what to write back.
4. If you know that some subjects trigger anger or conflict in you or the person you are interacting with, avoid those subjects.
5. Love is not a feeling. It is a choice, and a way of life. If you are having a hard time with a person, pray about it and then treat them in a godly way whether you feel like it or not.
6. Be differentiated. This means that, although you love the person, you are not dependent on their opinion of you, or their emotional state. If they accuse you of something that is not true, don't allow yourself to be devastated. You can listen politely, and it's always good to apologize if you have done anything wrong, but don't allow things to 'get inside you'.
If you know that a certain person has a problem with you, talk to your parents about it. There is nothing wrong with staying away from someone you don't like as long as it is polite to do so, but you must treat them in a Christ-like manner. This means all the time, whether you are with them or not.
It is not wrong to talk to a parent or trusted friend about how someone has hurt you, but don't get into 'people bashing', or making something bigger than it is. Another important thing, if you are sharing it with a friend, is to make sure that your friend can handle it emotionally. If you start to get the sense that they are getting overwhelmed, stop talking about it, you can apologize for making them uncomfortable, and change the subject to something different. Don't forget to talk to your parents when you get home.
Parents and friends are not there to feed your dislike of someone, so do not talk to someone who will not give you godly counsel.
As usual, I'd love to hear what you think as well as any tips or hints. :-)
Your character defines who you are, how and why you react to different things, your reputation, your good and bad qualities, whether you are trustworthy or not, etc.
There are many aspects to a person's character, but right now let's focus on how we should respond to people who are rude, who disagree with us, who treat us badly, and who slander (0r talk bad about) us.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Now there are many, many verses that tell us "a soft answer turns away wrath" "Be slow to become angry" etc. But the one above is my favorite. (If you wish to read the rest of chapter 4, it's very good and can be found here. Just type in Ephesians 4.)
So now we know how we're supposed to respond, but easier said than done, right?
Here are a few ideas of how to keep from responding in an ungodly way.
1. Pray and read your Bible. If your mind is filled with Christ, your automatic response to conflict will slowly change to be more Biblical.
2. Take a moment to cool down before replying. You can keep yourself from doing something really stupid if you don't react immediately.
3. If the rudeness is in an e-mail, wait a few days to respond. Sometimes it helps to show it to your parents, who will probably have some good ideas of what to write back.
4. If you know that some subjects trigger anger or conflict in you or the person you are interacting with, avoid those subjects.
5. Love is not a feeling. It is a choice, and a way of life. If you are having a hard time with a person, pray about it and then treat them in a godly way whether you feel like it or not.
6. Be differentiated. This means that, although you love the person, you are not dependent on their opinion of you, or their emotional state. If they accuse you of something that is not true, don't allow yourself to be devastated. You can listen politely, and it's always good to apologize if you have done anything wrong, but don't allow things to 'get inside you'.
If you know that a certain person has a problem with you, talk to your parents about it. There is nothing wrong with staying away from someone you don't like as long as it is polite to do so, but you must treat them in a Christ-like manner. This means all the time, whether you are with them or not.
It is not wrong to talk to a parent or trusted friend about how someone has hurt you, but don't get into 'people bashing', or making something bigger than it is. Another important thing, if you are sharing it with a friend, is to make sure that your friend can handle it emotionally. If you start to get the sense that they are getting overwhelmed, stop talking about it, you can apologize for making them uncomfortable, and change the subject to something different. Don't forget to talk to your parents when you get home.
Parents and friends are not there to feed your dislike of someone, so do not talk to someone who will not give you godly counsel.
As usual, I'd love to hear what you think as well as any tips or hints. :-)
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Staying Toasty While Wearing Skirts
Here in New England it can get really chilly during the winter. I love wearing skirts, but for a long time I would only wear them on Sunday to church because I would get SO COLD with the wintery air breezing around my legs... especially since the tights I wore were really only colored nylons and didn't do much to keep the warmth in.
Over time we did come up with a few ideas on how to keep warm in the winter.
1. DON'T WEAR SUMMER WEIGHT SKIRTS!!! Make sure that the skirts you are planning on wearing are a nice thick material. (Corduroys are great, so are some cottons.)
2. Taper leg stretch pants go great under skirts, don't add much bulk, and look fine. I like wearing black ones because my shoes are black and most of my winter skirts are dark. You may prefer to wear them around the house but put on something prettier (like tights) when you go out.
3. Tights (Not Nylons) are a great way to stay warm. Vermont Country Store sells some really comfortable and very warm cotton tights.
4. If you are going to be wearing a mid-calf length skirt, but it's really cold out, stretch capris (made out of stretch pant material) over tights can go a long way to keeping you toasty.
5. Warm shoes are important too. Sneakers look fine with jean skirts, K-mart has some shoes that look great with skirts, but aren't very warm... Sometimes I like to wear my winter boots to where I'm going, and then put on my other shoes when I get there. That way I don't get snow in my shoes, but I can still wear my favorite flats.
6. Leggings also work really good under skirts.
If you do get capris or stretch pants to wear under your skirts, make sure that they have elastic waistbands, because if they have a button and zipper, or pockets, they can end up making you look a little more heavy.
Long (ankle length skirts) are usually warmer than pants because they keep all that nice warm air next to your body.
So just a short post today, but I hope that it was helpful. :-)
A few people left comments with some really helpful hints!
Kate Marie left me a comment with this helpful hint: "if you are long waisted, like I am, your shirts sometimes like to fly up in the back. This problem can be fixed by buying a couple long white tanks to wear underneath! That way if you bend over there is no problem."
Thanks Kate! :-)
Meghan said: "Some things that I do, almost every day, is to wear
a thick, warm, pair of socks OVER my tights. Also, leg-warmers can be cosy. They go on the heel-half of your foot, and go on up your calf to your knees."
Great idea!
Thanks for sharing the hints, girls!
Over time we did come up with a few ideas on how to keep warm in the winter.
1. DON'T WEAR SUMMER WEIGHT SKIRTS!!! Make sure that the skirts you are planning on wearing are a nice thick material. (Corduroys are great, so are some cottons.)
2. Taper leg stretch pants go great under skirts, don't add much bulk, and look fine. I like wearing black ones because my shoes are black and most of my winter skirts are dark. You may prefer to wear them around the house but put on something prettier (like tights) when you go out.
3. Tights (Not Nylons) are a great way to stay warm. Vermont Country Store sells some really comfortable and very warm cotton tights.
4. If you are going to be wearing a mid-calf length skirt, but it's really cold out, stretch capris (made out of stretch pant material) over tights can go a long way to keeping you toasty.
5. Warm shoes are important too. Sneakers look fine with jean skirts, K-mart has some shoes that look great with skirts, but aren't very warm... Sometimes I like to wear my winter boots to where I'm going, and then put on my other shoes when I get there. That way I don't get snow in my shoes, but I can still wear my favorite flats.
6. Leggings also work really good under skirts.
If you do get capris or stretch pants to wear under your skirts, make sure that they have elastic waistbands, because if they have a button and zipper, or pockets, they can end up making you look a little more heavy.
Long (ankle length skirts) are usually warmer than pants because they keep all that nice warm air next to your body.
So just a short post today, but I hope that it was helpful. :-)
A few people left comments with some really helpful hints!
Kate Marie left me a comment with this helpful hint: "if you are long waisted, like I am, your shirts sometimes like to fly up in the back. This problem can be fixed by buying a couple long white tanks to wear underneath! That way if you bend over there is no problem."
Thanks Kate! :-)
Meghan said: "Some things that I do, almost every day, is to wear
a thick, warm, pair of socks OVER my tights. Also, leg-warmers can be cosy. They go on the heel-half of your foot, and go on up your calf to your knees."
Great idea!
Thanks for sharing the hints, girls!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Tips for Mental Purity
Girls are emotional... big surprise, right? What we fill our minds with will determine the way we see the world and the way we react emotionally.
Have you ever concentrated on really learning something for a few weeks in a row? Or playing a game? Your mind creates a pattern, and you start seeing things through that pattern.
My grandparents gave me two books of Sudoku (a numbers game) last Christmas. Now, I didn't know much about it, but it looked like fun, so I started putting my mind to work learning the pattern of the game.
After a while, I would find myself subconsciously seeing things in rows and boxes even when I wasn't playing the game.
I'm going to give you a few examples of the most common things that affect our minds and emotions in a romantic way as girls.
1. Romance Novels (yes, even Christian ones)
2. Chick flicks and Romantic Comedies (also of course any other movies with not-so-cute sexual stuff in them)
3. Wearing tight (or 'sexy') clothing and some kinds of high heels (your guess is as good as mine as to why these affect us, but they do)
4. Looking at those bikini-type magazines at the end of the checkout line
5. Allowing a friendship with a young man to get deeper and deeper and deeper
I'm sure that there are more, and that they vary from person to person, but these were a few of the most common.
Now, what do these things do?
I'm not sure what it is about Romance novels, chick flicks, and Romantic comedies, but they tend to make us dissatisfied with what we have, and the men in our lives (i.e. our Dad, older brothers etc). This leads to rebellion and disrespect. The men in the books are created by a woman's imagination. Our fathers were created by God. Though they aren't perfect, God requires that we respect and obey them in the Lord.
Romance Novels also (obviously) make us impatient for a romantic relationship. The kind of desire it gives us, is one that no man can or will ever fulfill.
Tight clothing tempts us to flaunt our bodies. High heeled shoes can make us walk in a 'sexy' way.
Those magazines with the pictures of the perfect model in the bikini make us dissatisfied with our bodies and with being modest. The message is that you have to be immodest to be attractive.
A deep friendship with a young man encourages you to lean on him for your emotional needs instead of on God and your parents. (This isn't saying that you can't be friends with young men... just don't let it go too far. Don't ever tell him, or write him something that you wouldn't want your parents to read with the knowledge that you were sending it to him.)
There are obviously other, different effects from the ones that I've mentioned.
The most serious thing that happens, is that all of this stuff fills our mind and we start thinking in the patterns that were created by the author, the director, or the screen writer. Often, we're so anxious to finish those last few chapter to find out whether so-and-so gets together with what's-his-name, that we stay up late to read it and forget about reading the Bible (or else rush through our Bible chapter and never remember what it said).
Only when you fill your mind with God's word can you see things His way, and react the way Jesus would want you to.
Now this isn't to say that you can never enjoy another mindless chick flick, or read another happy ending. But there are a few things that you can do to undermine the effect they have on you.
1. DON'T FORGET TO READ YOUR BIBLE!!! And I don't just mean skimming a chapter a day. Set aside a time (I usually do my Bible reading at night before bed) and pray that the Lord would give you wisdom to see what He wants to show you that day. Then read however much you want, it doesn't have to be a set amount, but let it shape your mind. Soon you'll start seeing things 'through' the Bible
2. Don't be afraid to skip those parts in the book that give you that naughty feeling thrill
3. Fast-forward any inappropriate parts in the movies. And feel free to avoid this or that movie that you know is a problem.
4. Dress modestly ;-)
5. Guard your eyes. Yes I know, 'girls don't have to guard their eyes'. But we do, really. Sexual images may not affect us in the same way that they affect men, but they DO affect us. Don't look at those magazines; even at the covers. Look at your shopping cart if you have to.
6. Don't think of young men as potential husbands, and DON'T tell them secrets and stuff. If you wouldn't tell your boy cousins, than why in the world would you tell a completely unconnected boy?
7. Do not EVER allow your thought to linger on a young man, and don't think about what it might be like to hug or kiss or whatever. If we can take every thought captive in obedience to Christ (easier said than done; it takes lots of prayer and diversion) than we're on our way to emotional purity
Now, I, personally, don't read romance novels. I started to read them when I was about thirteen, but my Mom made me stop and I'm really VERY VERY thankful that she did.
But don't focus on 'fighting the bad', focus on being more like Jesus. Don't be legalistic, but strive for purity!
I hope this was helpful. As always, if you have any thoughts you'd like to share, please feel free.
Have you ever concentrated on really learning something for a few weeks in a row? Or playing a game? Your mind creates a pattern, and you start seeing things through that pattern.
My grandparents gave me two books of Sudoku (a numbers game) last Christmas. Now, I didn't know much about it, but it looked like fun, so I started putting my mind to work learning the pattern of the game.
After a while, I would find myself subconsciously seeing things in rows and boxes even when I wasn't playing the game.
I'm going to give you a few examples of the most common things that affect our minds and emotions in a romantic way as girls.
1. Romance Novels (yes, even Christian ones)
2. Chick flicks and Romantic Comedies (also of course any other movies with not-so-cute sexual stuff in them)
3. Wearing tight (or 'sexy') clothing and some kinds of high heels (your guess is as good as mine as to why these affect us, but they do)
4. Looking at those bikini-type magazines at the end of the checkout line
5. Allowing a friendship with a young man to get deeper and deeper and deeper
I'm sure that there are more, and that they vary from person to person, but these were a few of the most common.
Now, what do these things do?
I'm not sure what it is about Romance novels, chick flicks, and Romantic comedies, but they tend to make us dissatisfied with what we have, and the men in our lives (i.e. our Dad, older brothers etc). This leads to rebellion and disrespect. The men in the books are created by a woman's imagination. Our fathers were created by God. Though they aren't perfect, God requires that we respect and obey them in the Lord.
Romance Novels also (obviously) make us impatient for a romantic relationship. The kind of desire it gives us, is one that no man can or will ever fulfill.
Tight clothing tempts us to flaunt our bodies. High heeled shoes can make us walk in a 'sexy' way.
Those magazines with the pictures of the perfect model in the bikini make us dissatisfied with our bodies and with being modest. The message is that you have to be immodest to be attractive.
A deep friendship with a young man encourages you to lean on him for your emotional needs instead of on God and your parents. (This isn't saying that you can't be friends with young men... just don't let it go too far. Don't ever tell him, or write him something that you wouldn't want your parents to read with the knowledge that you were sending it to him.)
There are obviously other, different effects from the ones that I've mentioned.
The most serious thing that happens, is that all of this stuff fills our mind and we start thinking in the patterns that were created by the author, the director, or the screen writer. Often, we're so anxious to finish those last few chapter to find out whether so-and-so gets together with what's-his-name, that we stay up late to read it and forget about reading the Bible (or else rush through our Bible chapter and never remember what it said).
Only when you fill your mind with God's word can you see things His way, and react the way Jesus would want you to.
Now this isn't to say that you can never enjoy another mindless chick flick, or read another happy ending. But there are a few things that you can do to undermine the effect they have on you.
1. DON'T FORGET TO READ YOUR BIBLE!!! And I don't just mean skimming a chapter a day. Set aside a time (I usually do my Bible reading at night before bed) and pray that the Lord would give you wisdom to see what He wants to show you that day. Then read however much you want, it doesn't have to be a set amount, but let it shape your mind. Soon you'll start seeing things 'through' the Bible
2. Don't be afraid to skip those parts in the book that give you that naughty feeling thrill
3. Fast-forward any inappropriate parts in the movies. And feel free to avoid this or that movie that you know is a problem.
4. Dress modestly ;-)
5. Guard your eyes. Yes I know, 'girls don't have to guard their eyes'. But we do, really. Sexual images may not affect us in the same way that they affect men, but they DO affect us. Don't look at those magazines; even at the covers. Look at your shopping cart if you have to.
6. Don't think of young men as potential husbands, and DON'T tell them secrets and stuff. If you wouldn't tell your boy cousins, than why in the world would you tell a completely unconnected boy?
7. Do not EVER allow your thought to linger on a young man, and don't think about what it might be like to hug or kiss or whatever. If we can take every thought captive in obedience to Christ (easier said than done; it takes lots of prayer and diversion) than we're on our way to emotional purity
Now, I, personally, don't read romance novels. I started to read them when I was about thirteen, but my Mom made me stop and I'm really VERY VERY thankful that she did.
But don't focus on 'fighting the bad', focus on being more like Jesus. Don't be legalistic, but strive for purity!
I hope this was helpful. As always, if you have any thoughts you'd like to share, please feel free.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
