Modest Swimwear

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As it gets warmer here in New England, our family does a lot of swimming in the lake right down the road from us.
During the past couple of years us girls have been trying out different types of modest bathing suits... don't get me wrong, we never wore bikinis, but it sure is nice to be a little more covered than your typical tank bathing suit.
I realize that some families do not allow boys and girls to swim at the same time, but whether you are swimming alone or with friends or family, there are some great swim suits out there that you actually can swim in.

Here is are a few bathing suit sites that we've found. I've also listed what suits are suitable to what body-types because we don't all look good and modest in the same suits. ;-)
(At the end there is a section for girls who don't want to be that covered but they still want to be more modest than the 'normal' suit.)

Swim modest bathing suits

This first one is my favorite... These suits are great for active swimmers because they really aren't any harder to swim in than normal suits, and they are all one piece so you don't have the problem of the skirt floating up. They're also really cute on. (They also don't need separate undergarments which is a big plus)
The site doesn't always have many fabric choices, but it's well worth checking back if you don't like the fabric they do have right now.
These suits are good for slender, average, or even slightly heavy girls... but if you have a heavier build you may want to consider a different suit.


Modest Swimwear

These bathing suits are harder to swim in, they do tend to slow you down a bit but won't make a difference if you are not a dedicated swimmer. (Another words, if you're not doing ten laps every day this bathing suit is fine.)
But they do need proper under garments... the capris tend to be see through, and the top clings A LOT when it is wet. Even if it is modest when it is dry, the top will be very immodest when wet if you don't wear something under it.
You want this bathing suit to be more tight than loose because it does tend to float up (And be more clinging) if it's loose.
A darker or more patterned fabric is best for these bathing suits. (You can also make them yourself... you can buy swim fabric online.)
These suits work best for average girls, and those who 'fill them out' more. Very slender girls have much more trouble with the suits wanting to float away.

Wholesome Swimwear

Ok, these suits are not the greatest for actually swimming... they're more for just hanging around in the water. I mean, you can swim in them, but they slow you down and somewhat restrict your movement.
These suits don't need undergarments, and are perfectly modest whether you are in or out of the water.
I notice that Moms particularly like these suits.
These suits are good for any shape, and can be a good choice for heavy girls who want to 'hide' more.

Fashionably Modest

This is a pattern, and I've never used it, but it looks as if it would be good for girls who enjoy wearing normal 'tank' bathing suits.

Ok, for those of you who want a more modest alternative to the normal bikini or tankini, but you also want to fit in, here are a few sites that seem to have good bathing suits.

Lime Riki

This site has several pretty and modest suits

And I was going to do several other sites, but I found this blog post that already has them listed so here you go.

The little Window shoppe

Ok, I hope that was helpful! Enjoy swimming! And let me know what bathing suits you like. :-)

Personality Differences

In my last post, I talked about differences of opinions, but there are lots of different personalities out there, and sometimes the reason we have a problem with someone isn't that we disagree, but simply that we don't know how to understand how to 'interpret' the other person.

For instance, when one person is upset about something you did, they will just ignore it or suggest shyly that they don't like it when someone does such and so. While the next person will come right out and tell you that you did this, this and this, that they didn't like it and that you have to change your ways.
Now neither one of these approaches is the best way, one may be more offensive than the other, but neither of them are truly sinful... they're just different.

Of course, us Homeschoolers get a chance to deal with many different personalities on a daily basis with our brothers and sisters, but our particular family has boundaries that other families don't. We may think that it is rude to say something that a different family has no problem with.
That is why what my Mom calls 'Interpretation' is so important. (It's also called thinking the best of people.)

Let's say that your best friend at church has a tendency to speak their mind a little too forcefully and doesn't always have the best discretion about what to say, but you know that they really care about you. So on Sunday, this friend walks up to you and tells you, point blank, that your dress is ugly and immodest. Then they walk away and the next time you talk to them they seem to have forgotten all about it. Ok, now you can either look at it as your friend being a jerk, or think about it in context of their character. It may not have been right of them to handle the situation like they did, but maybe it wasn't them trying to be hurtful, it was just them not thinking before they spoke.

Or maybe someone is very quiet and when you walk over and try to be friendly, they kind of just smile shyly and then look away.

A while ago I realized that I wasn't 'interpreting' someone I love correctly. Now this person has a VERY different personality from me, and often would say something that was meant to be firm, but I would interpret it as anger.
After talking to my Mom about it, I realized that it wasn't the person's fault that I had a problem with them... it was my fault because I wasn't thinking about them in the context of their character, which is very 'definite', but I was interpreting them by MY character. If I had spoken the way they did, I would have been very angry, but I was supposed to look at THEIR personality, not MINE!

So, yeah, try it out with the person that bugs you the most, in your family or anywhere. ;-)

Differences of Opinions and Christian Liberty (Plus some tired rambling!)

Hi! We're back from our trip! If you want to read about it go to my other blog (listed in my profile). I'll be posting more about it soon.

Well, I keep thinking of things that I want to write about on here, but I think that the one that I want to talk about today is the fact/issue of Christian Liberty.

Now, in an age where 'tolerance' of evil things is considered good, Christian Liberty can get a kind of bad name from us 'intolerant' homeschoolers. Let me say that we should never tolerate wicked things. Christian Liberty should imply that we would be 'tolerating' minor differences within the Christian faith.

You know, we all have the same reaction when someone disagrees with us... we want to convince them that we are right! And we are sure that if we only talk enough, or put it the right way, or give them enough Bible verses, that they will see that we are right and admit that they were wrong!
The truth is that only God can convince anyone of anything. (Of course, some of you may not agree with this! Haha, time for Christian Liberty I guess!)

Actually, I've never been convinced of anything by someone arguing with me. It just makes me feel anxious (and, when someone is rude about it, disrespected and hurt).

Last year, after thinking and praying about something for a long time, I was convicted about a certain issue, and decided to change my ways. It wasn't anything big, just what could be called personal preference. But you should have seen the reaction I got when I said something about it on my blog! People that I had never even heard of before left not-so-nice comments about why I was wrong.

Now I actually didn't say that anyone was doing anything wrong, I just made an offhanded remark that I wasn't sure that such-and-so was a good thing for me to read. It was amazing how people seemed to feel that they were being personally attacked.

Ok, I guess that I'm rambling a bit, (I'm really tired!) but basically, if you can simply not get upset when someone doesn't agree with you (on things from Headcoverings to Lord of the Rings), than you and your friends and family will have a much easier time of things!

So yeah, just being quiet is sometimes the kindest thing that you can do. Especially if someone has made a decided to change something in their life. As long as it's not sinful, we should let them just be them.

Ok, I hope that made sense, I'm going to go crawl into bed now! G'night all! :-)

An graphic for this blog!

A friend of mine made an ad for this blog! If anyone wants the code, leave me a comment and a way to contact you and I'll be happy to send it to you. :-)

Thanks so much Miss Jocelyn! :-)

I won't be posting again for a while because our family is going on a trip.

When Dealing with Boys In Youth Group

Now, I bet that title got your attention, didn't it? This is just going to be a short post with a few tips in it.
The reason I decided to write this is because I have seen or been in groups of Christian teens (youth group types of groups), where the kids are way too familiar with each other. I call it "Christian" flirting. Another words, it's an 'underground' type of flirting (of course, sometimes it's more obvious) that they justify by saying "We're brothers and sisters... In Christ."
Now I'm not sure if they actually think that what they are doing is fine, or if they know that they're being flirtatious. But regardless of that, when you are in a group like that it is important that you don't just do the easy thing and follow the lead of the crowd.
Here are a few things that definitely give the wrong idea...

1. Sitting on a boy's lap is never EVER appropriate for ANY reason. (I have noticed that teens like to do things like squishing everyone in the group onto one couch. I never was the type of person who liked being that close to anyone, but, if you must do this, you could always sit on one of your *female* friend's lap instead.)

2. "Making eyes" at someone. This is a very flirtatious thing. I think that we all know what it looks like because we've noticed other girls doing it.

3. Holding hands with a boy... Not a good idea.

4. Most people are fine hugging people goodbye, but if you can't keep your emotions pure when hugging boys, than don't do it. I know that a lot of people are not raised in a "I hug people goodbye" kind of home, and I have noticed that some girls develop feelings for young men when they hug them goodbye every Sunday. If someone is coming to give you a hug and you don't wish to hug them, my Grandpa says that you should just extend your hand and wait for them to realize that you wish to shake hands instead.

5. Games like "Telephone Booth" or games where you crawl around in the dark are NEVER appropriate.

6. I never liked it when girls and boys would push each other around, it seems very flirtatious to me.

Ok, here are a few things that are fine...

1. If a girl is hurt(ie: she can't walk) and has to get to a car or whatever, it is entirely appropriate for one of the stronger people in the group (presumably a guy), to carry or help her in some way. Although when I hurt my ankle and couldn't walk on it, I didn't need to be carried, I just needed someone to hold my arm so that I would fall over.

2. In most cases hugging someone goodbye is just fine.

3. It is not a problem to joke around as long as the jokes don't become inappropriate.


Basically, if you feel fine doing it, it's usually fine (unless it's something wrong, of course), if you get a thrill from it or feel funny about it, don't do it! ;-)
Hope that was helpful! Have a nice day ladies!

Just a note

This past March I had the honor of being asked to be the 'cover girl' for Growing in Grace Magazine.
If you're interested you can read my interview here http://www.growingingraceonline.com/

Disagreements (And a new Poll)

Lately I've been thinking about how we should respond when we have a minor disagreement with someone, or when someone is critical of us.
It is always slightly disturbing to find that someone has misunderstood us or disagrees with how we act or think, but how can we respond in a godly way?

1. Think before you speak or act in response to criticism or disagreement. Proverbs 15:28 says "The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil."

2. Make sure that you really understand what the person is saying. "He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame." Proverbs 18:13

3. Respond politely and with humility. Even if they are in the wrong, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

4. Never respond out of annoyance, or by saying something rude about the other person, even if it is true. "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." Proverbs 12:16

5. If you have been falsely 'accused' of something, Proverbs 12:19 says "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment."

6. If you are the one who sees something wrong in someone else, pray about it before you say anything. You never know how you can hurt someone. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18. "The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful." Proverbs 12:22.
For the most part, God is the one who must convict someone of their sin, and your part is to pray, not accuse. If you think that you must say something, be very, very, sure that you love the person as Jesus would have you, and that what you are going to tell them is the truth.

7. Never gossip about something that someone did wrong to you. It is ok to talk to your parents, or to a close friend if you need to talk about it, but don't just go 'blabbing it' to anyone you meet. "A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly." Proverbs 12:23

8. And lastly, if someone has showed you something in yourself that you see is a problem, change it! :-) "He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored." Proverbs 13:18

Here are a few more verses that have been helpful to me. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Proverbs 27:6
"Anger is cruel and fury is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?" Proverbs 27:4
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20

(Have you noticed that I love the book of Proverbs?) :-)

I also have a new poll up, so feel free to vote. Here are the results from the last one.

What do you think when you hear the word "Modesty"? It's interchangeable with "Frumpy"	2 (8%)
It's just an attitude	3 (13%)
Beautiful skirts and dresses	14 (60%)
A way of moving	7 (30%)
Boring	2 (8%)
Other (leave a comment and explain)	6 (26%)

Perhaps I should do a post on why modesty and what it is sometime. ;-)