Monday, February 22, 2010
Comments
Just a quick note to say please do not click on any links in my comments section. I seem to be having trouble with people posting very inappropriate links. I have reported the blogger that keeps doing this, but if anyone has any ideas of how to stop them from doing this I would really appreciate it. Thanks! :-)
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Compromises
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:1-3
"Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits'." 1 Corinthians 15:33
It was so wonderful when we dedicated our lives to Christ, wasn't it? It was exciting when we began to have different beliefs fall in place: baptism, gender rolls, modesty, like-minded friends, Bible believing church... we were enthusiastic and ready to 'do it'.
If only we could have held on to that enthusiasm and energy forever! Instead we suddenly wake up one day to realize that we have compromised little by little until we have no idea how to get back on track short of starting completely over again (which, let's be honest, is not going to happen).
So what should we do when we find that we are most definitely being conformed to this world, and we doubt that the transformation we have undergone has had anything to do with the renewing of our mind?
Well, the obvious answer is to change and to get back to living the way that God wants us to. But the next question is not quite so easy to answer. How? How do we get from the state that we have discovered ourselves to be in to living like Jesus wants us to? Here are a few ideas...
1. Pray about it. I probably have said this in just about every post on this blog, but that doesn't make it any less true. Prayer is an amazing thing, it is the way God has given us to talk to Him!
2. Read your Bible. Sit down and look at your schedule and try to find ten minutes that you can set aside just to read your Bible. If you honestly can't think of when to have it, put a Bible in your bathroom and read as much as you can in the time you spend in there in the morning and evening. (There, *cough cough* was that practical enough?) Start in Genesis (or Matthew if you prefer), and just read through. But don't just do that 'open to a random spot and read a verse' thing... that's only allowed once in a while. ;-)
3. Look at your friends and who you are spending the most time with. Are they a godly influence in your life? Do they encourage you to follow Jesus with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength? Friends have a huge influence on our lives, but it's not always that obvious. I believe that you should not have any close non-Christian friends (or close Christian friends who are living in sin). That does NOT mean that you should suddenly cut them completely out of your life or that you should tell them that you can't be friends anymore because as of right now they're going to hell. What this does mean is that if you find yourself becoming too close to a non-Christian, you should begin to extract yourself little by little until you are more like friendly acquaintances than best friends. Now every circumstance is different, but here are a few ideas to get you started.
a. If they are internet friends, stop replying to their e-mails every day. Just back off a bit and only e-mail them once a week. If they ask you what's up, tell them that you are busy and are trying not to spend so much time on the computer (or whatever is true for you). Do NOT tell them that you don't want to be best friends anymore. That is not kind and is unnecessary. (One trouble with many people these days is that they think that if you don't tell the entire truth you are lying. While I am not suggesting that you lie, I am suggesting that you be tactful and kind. If you saw a friend and instantly noticed that they were wearing a shirt that clashed with their pants, you do not have to tell them, right?)
b. If they are friends that you see in person, stop spending so much free time with them. Simply find something else to do most of the time (maybe read your Bible). ;-)
c. Be nice to them, but don't invest yourself in them. Instead do your best to find solid Christian friends to invest your time in. (And they don't have to be perfect, no one is, but they should be doing their best to live in line with God's word.)
4. Find a good church. You can always find one if you look hard enough. And you don't necessarily have to agree with everything they preach. As long as they don't teach things that are against the Bible. (For instance, even if you believed in paedobaptism, you could go some where that taught believers baptism -that's called Christian liberty-, but you wouldn't go somewhere that preached that abortion is right.) However, it is important that they teach the Bible.
5. Set godly and realistic goals such as reading a chapter of the Bible every day, going to church once a week, not entertaining impure thoughts or crushes, or whatever God has convicted you about.
6. Find someone to be accountable to. Now this could be your Mom, or it could be a Christian friend. Explain to them the goals that you would like to be accountable for, and ask them to check with you on a regular basis, at least once a week, to see how you are doing.
7. If you realize that you are spending a lot of your time somewhere (workplace, school, sports) with people who are ungodly, and God shows you that you are only going to continue falling further away from Him if you stay in that place, than you need to leave. Now I understand that would be incredibly difficult, and that is something that only God could tell you if it is necessary, but if He does tell you to quit, that is exactly what you need to do. As long as you are following His will, He will take care of you.
8. Choose your hill to die on. Don't make every little thing a matter of life or death. And don't try to change everything at once, that will only leave you discouraged.
9. Be a witness by living your life the way you should. Do not take your conviction and try to force it on all of your friends (Christian or not). Do pray for them. And don't mistake picking on them for being a good witness (if your friend has tattoos, it won't do either of you any good if you start going on about what the Bible says about it. That will only make it so that they are less likely to listen to you).
Before I close, I would like to respond specifically to the anonymous comment I received a few days ago (remember, if you want me to respond to you personally, I do need your blog or e-mail address)...
"Joy,
I feel stuck and I would love your help!
I am a 19-year-old daughter of wonderful parents, but they have supported me to follow the world's cookie cutout for life; public school, and now I find myself at a huge secular university. I believe God wants me here now, and I have tried to live out my faith here, but tonight I was convicted of subtle compromises I have made without even realizing it. I find myself the somewhat close friend of a gay man, crushing on men when I shouldn't be, and surrounded by so much worldliness that I forget about God. I am not joining these people but not standing against/reaching out to them either. I want God to reign more in my life, but it feels like swimming upstream at a secular university (to be expected) and I don't know where to start. Specifically, how do I behave with non-christian friends (who I have inevitably made here)? Or even friends who are christian but have compromised like I have? How do I tell them I want to change, that I need to take God more seriously in everything that I do? I mean, if I were at home, it would be so much easier to live my faith, serving my parents and family; it is my comfort zone. But here, God's law is turned upside down. I have been praying about it, and I would love your thoughts!"
Dear friend,
I hope that the ideas that I have given here have been helpful to you. If you still have questions, please feel free to ask. I know that you are trying to do something that is extremely difficult, and only God can tell you what specifically you should do in your situation. I will be praying for you, that God would give you wisdom and courage to do His will, that He would show you what is and is not important, and that you would be encouraged and find Christian friends who will encourage you do to His will.
May God bless you!
Joy
"Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits'." 1 Corinthians 15:33
It was so wonderful when we dedicated our lives to Christ, wasn't it? It was exciting when we began to have different beliefs fall in place: baptism, gender rolls, modesty, like-minded friends, Bible believing church... we were enthusiastic and ready to 'do it'.
If only we could have held on to that enthusiasm and energy forever! Instead we suddenly wake up one day to realize that we have compromised little by little until we have no idea how to get back on track short of starting completely over again (which, let's be honest, is not going to happen).
So what should we do when we find that we are most definitely being conformed to this world, and we doubt that the transformation we have undergone has had anything to do with the renewing of our mind?
Well, the obvious answer is to change and to get back to living the way that God wants us to. But the next question is not quite so easy to answer. How? How do we get from the state that we have discovered ourselves to be in to living like Jesus wants us to? Here are a few ideas...
1. Pray about it. I probably have said this in just about every post on this blog, but that doesn't make it any less true. Prayer is an amazing thing, it is the way God has given us to talk to Him!
2. Read your Bible. Sit down and look at your schedule and try to find ten minutes that you can set aside just to read your Bible. If you honestly can't think of when to have it, put a Bible in your bathroom and read as much as you can in the time you spend in there in the morning and evening. (There, *cough cough* was that practical enough?) Start in Genesis (or Matthew if you prefer), and just read through. But don't just do that 'open to a random spot and read a verse' thing... that's only allowed once in a while. ;-)
3. Look at your friends and who you are spending the most time with. Are they a godly influence in your life? Do they encourage you to follow Jesus with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength? Friends have a huge influence on our lives, but it's not always that obvious. I believe that you should not have any close non-Christian friends (or close Christian friends who are living in sin). That does NOT mean that you should suddenly cut them completely out of your life or that you should tell them that you can't be friends anymore because as of right now they're going to hell. What this does mean is that if you find yourself becoming too close to a non-Christian, you should begin to extract yourself little by little until you are more like friendly acquaintances than best friends. Now every circumstance is different, but here are a few ideas to get you started.
a. If they are internet friends, stop replying to their e-mails every day. Just back off a bit and only e-mail them once a week. If they ask you what's up, tell them that you are busy and are trying not to spend so much time on the computer (or whatever is true for you). Do NOT tell them that you don't want to be best friends anymore. That is not kind and is unnecessary. (One trouble with many people these days is that they think that if you don't tell the entire truth you are lying. While I am not suggesting that you lie, I am suggesting that you be tactful and kind. If you saw a friend and instantly noticed that they were wearing a shirt that clashed with their pants, you do not have to tell them, right?)
b. If they are friends that you see in person, stop spending so much free time with them. Simply find something else to do most of the time (maybe read your Bible). ;-)
c. Be nice to them, but don't invest yourself in them. Instead do your best to find solid Christian friends to invest your time in. (And they don't have to be perfect, no one is, but they should be doing their best to live in line with God's word.)
4. Find a good church. You can always find one if you look hard enough. And you don't necessarily have to agree with everything they preach. As long as they don't teach things that are against the Bible. (For instance, even if you believed in paedobaptism, you could go some where that taught believers baptism -that's called Christian liberty-, but you wouldn't go somewhere that preached that abortion is right.) However, it is important that they teach the Bible.
5. Set godly and realistic goals such as reading a chapter of the Bible every day, going to church once a week, not entertaining impure thoughts or crushes, or whatever God has convicted you about.
6. Find someone to be accountable to. Now this could be your Mom, or it could be a Christian friend. Explain to them the goals that you would like to be accountable for, and ask them to check with you on a regular basis, at least once a week, to see how you are doing.
7. If you realize that you are spending a lot of your time somewhere (workplace, school, sports) with people who are ungodly, and God shows you that you are only going to continue falling further away from Him if you stay in that place, than you need to leave. Now I understand that would be incredibly difficult, and that is something that only God could tell you if it is necessary, but if He does tell you to quit, that is exactly what you need to do. As long as you are following His will, He will take care of you.
8. Choose your hill to die on. Don't make every little thing a matter of life or death. And don't try to change everything at once, that will only leave you discouraged.
9. Be a witness by living your life the way you should. Do not take your conviction and try to force it on all of your friends (Christian or not). Do pray for them. And don't mistake picking on them for being a good witness (if your friend has tattoos, it won't do either of you any good if you start going on about what the Bible says about it. That will only make it so that they are less likely to listen to you).
Before I close, I would like to respond specifically to the anonymous comment I received a few days ago (remember, if you want me to respond to you personally, I do need your blog or e-mail address)...
"Joy,
I feel stuck and I would love your help!
I am a 19-year-old daughter of wonderful parents, but they have supported me to follow the world's cookie cutout for life; public school, and now I find myself at a huge secular university. I believe God wants me here now, and I have tried to live out my faith here, but tonight I was convicted of subtle compromises I have made without even realizing it. I find myself the somewhat close friend of a gay man, crushing on men when I shouldn't be, and surrounded by so much worldliness that I forget about God. I am not joining these people but not standing against/reaching out to them either. I want God to reign more in my life, but it feels like swimming upstream at a secular university (to be expected) and I don't know where to start. Specifically, how do I behave with non-christian friends (who I have inevitably made here)? Or even friends who are christian but have compromised like I have? How do I tell them I want to change, that I need to take God more seriously in everything that I do? I mean, if I were at home, it would be so much easier to live my faith, serving my parents and family; it is my comfort zone. But here, God's law is turned upside down. I have been praying about it, and I would love your thoughts!"
Dear friend,
I hope that the ideas that I have given here have been helpful to you. If you still have questions, please feel free to ask. I know that you are trying to do something that is extremely difficult, and only God can tell you what specifically you should do in your situation. I will be praying for you, that God would give you wisdom and courage to do His will, that He would show you what is and is not important, and that you would be encouraged and find Christian friends who will encourage you do to His will.
May God bless you!
Joy
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
PTGW Part Nine: Learning to Have a Joyful Spirit
"Glory in His holy name; Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the LORD!" 1 Chronicles 16:10
"Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10b
"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!" Philippians 4:4
Lately I have been realizing how important it is to enjoy your life, and to rejoice in the Lord. Now this does not mean that we have to ignore anything uncomfortable or bad that happens, or that we have to walk around with plastic smiles on our faces all the time. What is does mean is that we need to find our joy in the Lord, and not have it be dependent on silly things (like whether it is sunny or cloudy, whether someone in our family has a bad attitude or not, etc). Right now I'm not going to talk about big things that happen (like a death in the family, or a debilitating physical problem) or how to deal with them, but instead I will be concentrating on a few ideas of how we can encourage ourselves to enjoy life, in spite of the little annoyances that can so often steal our joy.
Now before I begin, let me say that out of all of the things that I have heard men say are attractive in a woman, the most common and prevalent thing by far is a joyful spirit. A genuine enjoyment of life in Jesus. A smile and a joyful attitude can make even a very plain woman extremely attractive and beautiful. And we need to start by blessing our families with a joyful spirit.
So here are a few ideas of how to get and keep a joyful attitude.
1. Pray that God would give you a Joyful Spirit. This is obviously the most important thing. Without His help, none of us are very nice to be around. ;-)
2. One idea is to make yourself something to remind you to be cheerful. I often find that when I am not cheerful, it is because I simply forget to work on it. (I know, "I forgot" is the worst excuse ever, but sometimes you really do forget, and it can be helpful just to be reminded.) One thing that I did was that I made up a little piece of paper that I kept in my pocket to remind me to have a joyful spirit. Believe it or not, it REALLY helped! Of course, most dresses don't have pockets, so you can make a bracelet or necklace or something instead.
3. Deal with little annoyances as they come up. Don't let things build up inside of you. One of the worst things in a wife or sister is the tendency to let little things build up, build up, build up and then suddenly explode in a yelling or screaming fit. But you can avoid this if you pray about things as they happen, forgive people as they hurt you, breathe deeply and release your tension. Remember and put into practice Philippians 4:6-7 (my favorite verses) "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
4. It is ok to pretend to be cheerful even if you don't always feel like it. Now this doesn't mean fake smile, thinly veiled annoyance... and it is not an excuse not to deal with things that are bothering you. What it does mean is that you should answer your mother cheerfully when she asks you to do something, even if you are growling inside (and then you should pray about that 'growly-ness'). It also means that you do not have to burden your family with every moment that you are 'out of sorts'. Just smile. Practice makes perfect. :-)
5. If you find yourself having a particularly hard time, take a moment to pray, breathe, and maybe make a little list of things that you are thankful for. (This can be especially helpful if you are having trouble with one particular person. Make a list of things you are thankful for about them... and then give it to them if you'd like! For example... my brother, who is nearest to the water jug at supper, cheerfully fills everyone's glasses all throughout supper without complaining. that is something I am really thankful for about him. My sister cleans and vacuumes every single day, and really blesses our family with a clean house. My other sister is always ready with a hug and a kiss if someone is having a hard day. She can spot a tear from a mile away and comes running to help that person feel better. Pray before you make the list, because when you are having a difficult time with someone, it is extremely easy to only see their faults, and there are plenty of faults if you look hard enough, and it takes Jesus to help you be able to see the beautiful ways that they bless you.)
6. Don't focus on the negative. My Mom says that there are always two ways to look at something. If there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, you can look and see how people never clean up after themselves, or you can thank God that you have food to eat and a family to share it with.
7. Go for a walk. This will help you get your blood flowing and help you feel awake and more cheerful.
8. Avoid or limit sugar... (I'm sorry, people say that I bring nutrition into everything, but it is true, what you eat really does effect you.) Sugar makes people irritable, and that is something we want to avoid. :-)
9. Go to bed at a reasonable hour. I am a firm believer in getting enough sleep for helping with an attitude that is not always the best.
10. Do fun things that you enjoy. Don't let yourself just work all the time (I am not a believer in 'I need me time', but I do think that doing fun things is a good idea). And don't fool yourself into thinking that if something is going to be fun it has to be big or expensive. Paint your nails with your little sister (or by yourself). Have a tea party. Dress up. Turn on some music and dance. Sing while you work. Brainstorm things that you like to do, make a list, and then DO THEM!!! :-)
11. Help someone else. I often find that nothing helps me more than doing something kind for someone else.
12. Read your bible. (Hey, and while you're at it, take a look in Proverbs and see how many times it talks about how Unattractive the Opposite of a joyful spirit is... for starters take a look at Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, and 27:15.) :-)
Well, I hope that this has been helpful to you. Remember, no one wants to be around someone who is crabby or irritated all the time. Being joyful will help you to have better friendships, relationships, and a better life. You will find that you enjoy life more, and that others enjoy you more.
As always, if anyone has anything to add to this, I would love to hear it! :-)
"Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10b
"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!" Philippians 4:4
Lately I have been realizing how important it is to enjoy your life, and to rejoice in the Lord. Now this does not mean that we have to ignore anything uncomfortable or bad that happens, or that we have to walk around with plastic smiles on our faces all the time. What is does mean is that we need to find our joy in the Lord, and not have it be dependent on silly things (like whether it is sunny or cloudy, whether someone in our family has a bad attitude or not, etc). Right now I'm not going to talk about big things that happen (like a death in the family, or a debilitating physical problem) or how to deal with them, but instead I will be concentrating on a few ideas of how we can encourage ourselves to enjoy life, in spite of the little annoyances that can so often steal our joy.
Now before I begin, let me say that out of all of the things that I have heard men say are attractive in a woman, the most common and prevalent thing by far is a joyful spirit. A genuine enjoyment of life in Jesus. A smile and a joyful attitude can make even a very plain woman extremely attractive and beautiful. And we need to start by blessing our families with a joyful spirit.
So here are a few ideas of how to get and keep a joyful attitude.
1. Pray that God would give you a Joyful Spirit. This is obviously the most important thing. Without His help, none of us are very nice to be around. ;-)
2. One idea is to make yourself something to remind you to be cheerful. I often find that when I am not cheerful, it is because I simply forget to work on it. (I know, "I forgot" is the worst excuse ever, but sometimes you really do forget, and it can be helpful just to be reminded.) One thing that I did was that I made up a little piece of paper that I kept in my pocket to remind me to have a joyful spirit. Believe it or not, it REALLY helped! Of course, most dresses don't have pockets, so you can make a bracelet or necklace or something instead.
3. Deal with little annoyances as they come up. Don't let things build up inside of you. One of the worst things in a wife or sister is the tendency to let little things build up, build up, build up and then suddenly explode in a yelling or screaming fit. But you can avoid this if you pray about things as they happen, forgive people as they hurt you, breathe deeply and release your tension. Remember and put into practice Philippians 4:6-7 (my favorite verses) "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
4. It is ok to pretend to be cheerful even if you don't always feel like it. Now this doesn't mean fake smile, thinly veiled annoyance... and it is not an excuse not to deal with things that are bothering you. What it does mean is that you should answer your mother cheerfully when she asks you to do something, even if you are growling inside (and then you should pray about that 'growly-ness'). It also means that you do not have to burden your family with every moment that you are 'out of sorts'. Just smile. Practice makes perfect. :-)
5. If you find yourself having a particularly hard time, take a moment to pray, breathe, and maybe make a little list of things that you are thankful for. (This can be especially helpful if you are having trouble with one particular person. Make a list of things you are thankful for about them... and then give it to them if you'd like! For example... my brother, who is nearest to the water jug at supper, cheerfully fills everyone's glasses all throughout supper without complaining. that is something I am really thankful for about him. My sister cleans and vacuumes every single day, and really blesses our family with a clean house. My other sister is always ready with a hug and a kiss if someone is having a hard day. She can spot a tear from a mile away and comes running to help that person feel better. Pray before you make the list, because when you are having a difficult time with someone, it is extremely easy to only see their faults, and there are plenty of faults if you look hard enough, and it takes Jesus to help you be able to see the beautiful ways that they bless you.)
6. Don't focus on the negative. My Mom says that there are always two ways to look at something. If there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, you can look and see how people never clean up after themselves, or you can thank God that you have food to eat and a family to share it with.
7. Go for a walk. This will help you get your blood flowing and help you feel awake and more cheerful.
8. Avoid or limit sugar... (I'm sorry, people say that I bring nutrition into everything, but it is true, what you eat really does effect you.) Sugar makes people irritable, and that is something we want to avoid. :-)
9. Go to bed at a reasonable hour. I am a firm believer in getting enough sleep for helping with an attitude that is not always the best.
10. Do fun things that you enjoy. Don't let yourself just work all the time (I am not a believer in 'I need me time', but I do think that doing fun things is a good idea). And don't fool yourself into thinking that if something is going to be fun it has to be big or expensive. Paint your nails with your little sister (or by yourself). Have a tea party. Dress up. Turn on some music and dance. Sing while you work. Brainstorm things that you like to do, make a list, and then DO THEM!!! :-)
11. Help someone else. I often find that nothing helps me more than doing something kind for someone else.
12. Read your bible. (Hey, and while you're at it, take a look in Proverbs and see how many times it talks about how Unattractive the Opposite of a joyful spirit is... for starters take a look at Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, and 27:15.) :-)
Well, I hope that this has been helpful to you. Remember, no one wants to be around someone who is crabby or irritated all the time. Being joyful will help you to have better friendships, relationships, and a better life. You will find that you enjoy life more, and that others enjoy you more.
As always, if anyone has anything to add to this, I would love to hear it! :-)
Monday, November 2, 2009
Keeping Sight of the Goal
"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2
"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown." 1 Corinthians 9:24-25
"Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12
All of the other things that "shall be added unto you" are just 'icing on the cake' so to speak. Certainly they are worthy things to hope for and work towards, but when our eyes are focused on God we do not have room for the discontentment and discouragement that can come over us when we are too focused on the OUR hopes, OUR dreams, OUR goals.
Now I'm not saying that all of the things that I've written on this blog are not important... I believe that they are, but they are just a step towards glorifying Him, they are not the goal.
And as we do seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all of the other things really will be added to us. God is the one who gives us the fruit of the Spirit, so let's remember to keep our eyes on Him and our lives focused on glorifying Him.
"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown." 1 Corinthians 9:24-25
"Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12
"Question 1: What is the chief and highest end of man?
Answer: Man's chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him forever." The Westminster Larger Catechism
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33Today I would like to remind all of us what the goal is that we are working towards.
It's not getting married. It's not to have children one day. It's not to be organized, or anything like that
All of the other things that "shall be added unto you" are just 'icing on the cake' so to speak. Certainly they are worthy things to hope for and work towards, but when our eyes are focused on God we do not have room for the discontentment and discouragement that can come over us when we are too focused on the OUR hopes, OUR dreams, OUR goals.
Now I'm not saying that all of the things that I've written on this blog are not important... I believe that they are, but they are just a step towards glorifying Him, they are not the goal.
And as we do seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all of the other things really will be added to us. God is the one who gives us the fruit of the Spirit, so let's remember to keep our eyes on Him and our lives focused on glorifying Him.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Crushes on Unavailable Men
"I know this sounds REALLY bad but what if the guy you have a crush on is married and was someone you once dated. What if you ask God to take the feelings away and they still don't go away???? Please help!!!
Worried,
Anonymous"
Dear Anonymous,
I know that it's easy to get freaked out when you have strong feelings and they just won't 'go away'. Believe it or not, at one point in time most young ladies will have a crush on someone who is unavailable. Whether he's courting, engaged, or married to someone else, it is hard to deal with feelings for someone that you know you shouldn't be having feelings for. Dating aggravates this problem as it encourages you to form attachments to people that, odds are, you won't spend the rest of your life with.
But the principles are the same no matter the situation or the circumstances.
Now, here are a few ideas for you, ok?
1. Whenever you get a thought about him, or warm fuzzies about him, or anything, pray. And don't just pray about him, because that will just continue to train your brain to think about him. Try something like this. "Lord, I know that So-and-so is married, but I still have a crush on him. Please take away those feelings and help me to reserve my heart for my future husband. I pray that You would prepare me to be a good wife someday, and help me to practice guarding my heart now in preparation for the day that I am married myself. I also pray for my grandma, please heal her arthritis because it is so hard on her not to be able to walk around. Please give me wisdom of how I can bless her and make things easier on her. Thank you, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen."
2. "Take every thought captive and make it obedient unto Christ." Don't allow yourself to daydream or anything. Here is one way that you can 'take every thought captive'. Picture your mind as an airport, and the thoughs as airplanes that are trying to land. When one comes zooming up that you don't want in your mind, send it off. For the first week (or probably month) you will probably have to do this over 100 times a day, but it does get easier and less frequent when you practice.
Well my dear, I hope that is helpful to you. Keep reading your Bible and training your mind to think of things the way Jesus would want you to. And don't worry about your crush too much, as long as you continue to pray about it, I'm sure that God will help you with it so gradually that you won't even notice it's gone. :-)
*hugs*
Joy
Worried,
Anonymous"
Dear Anonymous,
I know that it's easy to get freaked out when you have strong feelings and they just won't 'go away'. Believe it or not, at one point in time most young ladies will have a crush on someone who is unavailable. Whether he's courting, engaged, or married to someone else, it is hard to deal with feelings for someone that you know you shouldn't be having feelings for. Dating aggravates this problem as it encourages you to form attachments to people that, odds are, you won't spend the rest of your life with.
But the principles are the same no matter the situation or the circumstances.
Now, here are a few ideas for you, ok?
1. Whenever you get a thought about him, or warm fuzzies about him, or anything, pray. And don't just pray about him, because that will just continue to train your brain to think about him. Try something like this. "Lord, I know that So-and-so is married, but I still have a crush on him. Please take away those feelings and help me to reserve my heart for my future husband. I pray that You would prepare me to be a good wife someday, and help me to practice guarding my heart now in preparation for the day that I am married myself. I also pray for my grandma, please heal her arthritis because it is so hard on her not to be able to walk around. Please give me wisdom of how I can bless her and make things easier on her. Thank you, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen."
2. "Take every thought captive and make it obedient unto Christ." Don't allow yourself to daydream or anything. Here is one way that you can 'take every thought captive'. Picture your mind as an airport, and the thoughs as airplanes that are trying to land. When one comes zooming up that you don't want in your mind, send it off. For the first week (or probably month) you will probably have to do this over 100 times a day, but it does get easier and less frequent when you practice.
Well my dear, I hope that is helpful to you. Keep reading your Bible and training your mind to think of things the way Jesus would want you to. And don't worry about your crush too much, as long as you continue to pray about it, I'm sure that God will help you with it so gradually that you won't even notice it's gone. :-)
*hugs*
Joy
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
PTGW Part Eight B: Taking Care of Your Soul
Note: Thank you to everyone who commented! It is good to know that people read this blog because I was thinking of not continuing it, but I'm glad that I am going to continue writing for this blog because I think it helps me more than anyone else. ;-)
Alright, today I'm going to be talking about taking care of your soul, though maybe not in the way that you're thinking.
Now first of all, what is a soul? Well, I'm NOT going to go into what the Greek and Hebrew words mean, because this is not that kind of a blog. (If you want to find out, you could probably just google it.) But if we look at the Bible, we see that the word soul used in a variety of ways (Just get out your concordance and look up the word soul). But most often it seems to be used to convey the core of our being.
Now, God is the only One who can save our soul, but after He redeems us, how can we take care of our soul?
Well, a great part of that is what we do, see, watch, listen to etc. Because even though we have a soul, heart, mind, body... we are still just one person and everything affects each other.
I don't know about you, but I can tell when I'm not taking care of my soul, mind, and heart because I start feeling 'cluttered', anxious, and disturbed.
So what can we do to upkeep that part of us?
1. Pray. Prayer is amazing. We are able to speak to God and He hears us! (One particularly helpful verse on prayer is Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.") And make sure that you really do pray specifically about what is bothering you and then give it to Jesus and LEAVE IT WITH HIM!!! Don't take it back. And if you start worrying about it again, pray again and give it to Him again. Praying scripture is a great help (e.g. "Lord, please help me to think about whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right....")
2. Read your Bible everyday. I like to read mine in the morning first thing, and last thing before bed. Pray that the Holy Spirit would show you what needs to change in your heart every time before you read and when He shows you, repent of it and confess it to God. This can remove a lot of that cluttered feeling. The more you read your Bible, the more it will train your mind to see everything in the light of the scripture.
3. Sing scripture songs (that actually use Scripture) and hymns. I love the Hide 'em in Your Heart songs for scripture songs. As for hymns, I'm not talking about 'worship songs'. I'm talking about good, old fashioned hymns. Even though his theology was a bit off, a lot of Charles Wesley's hymns are really wonderful. One of my favorites is "And Can it be That I Should Gain" (I like to sing that while I'm washing dishes... just because it's hard to sing while you're breathless from vacuuming). :-)
Ok, now are you ready for a little list of don'ts?
4. Don't spend too much time watching movies. They just add to the clutteredness, and they can really make you feel disturbed and anxious.
5. Don't spend too much time listening to secular music. (Now I'm not saying that you can't ever listen to secular music, but make sure that you limit the time you devote to it.)
6. Don't read romance novels. These sow discontentment and most teach you that the outward appearance is all that matters (that goes for romance movies too).
Now, one thing that I would like to challenge you to do is a fast. This is a mind and heart fast to get you out of the cluttered state and into a peaceful one. Here is what the fast looks like:
For one week you give up entertainment (this includes movies, YouTube videos, and books), secular music, video games, and thoughts that are not glorifying to Jesus (for instance, hateful thoughts, lusting thoughts, and coveting thoughts).
Ok? So now you've removed those things from your life, something has to take their place, right? Of course right! ;-)
So what is going to take their place? Prayer, Bible reading, and hymns. Read your Bible first thing in the morning, right before bed (about a chapter each time), and then whenever you would normally read a book go ahead and read your Bible. Pray in the morning when you read your Bible (Just to let you know, you don't have to do this alone, if you have little kids you can read your Bible outloud and pray with them), at night before bed, whenever you have a thought that is not glorifying to Jesus, and whenever the rest of your family is watching a movie or something use that time for prayer as well. Instead of listening to secular music while you work or just to kill time, sing hymns and scripture songs. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather hear "And Can It Be" than "Man, I Feel Like a Woman". ;-)
At the beginning of the week pray and ask God to show you areas in your life that are not submitted to Him or are against His word, and when He shows you focus on praying about those things throughout the week.
When you pray don't just pray for yourself, make sure that you pray for others as well.
Now of course, you can modify this fast to fit your needs. The first time I did it I also did a sugar fast because I wanted to make sure that I didn't turn to food when i was bored. The second time I did it, I only did a movie fast and I allowed myself to listen to secular music if I wanted to (though that time didn't have the same effect as when I did the whole fast because I still had entertainment). But you can also do an internet fast, a dessert fast, etc.
If you do it, make sure to come and let me know how it went for you. :-)
Now obviously, no matter what we do God is the One who "restores my soul". So during the fast pray that He would restore your soul.
To end with here is Psalm 23.
"The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever."
Alright, today I'm going to be talking about taking care of your soul, though maybe not in the way that you're thinking.
Now first of all, what is a soul? Well, I'm NOT going to go into what the Greek and Hebrew words mean, because this is not that kind of a blog. (If you want to find out, you could probably just google it.) But if we look at the Bible, we see that the word soul used in a variety of ways (Just get out your concordance and look up the word soul). But most often it seems to be used to convey the core of our being.
Now, God is the only One who can save our soul, but after He redeems us, how can we take care of our soul?
Well, a great part of that is what we do, see, watch, listen to etc. Because even though we have a soul, heart, mind, body... we are still just one person and everything affects each other.
I don't know about you, but I can tell when I'm not taking care of my soul, mind, and heart because I start feeling 'cluttered', anxious, and disturbed.
So what can we do to upkeep that part of us?
1. Pray. Prayer is amazing. We are able to speak to God and He hears us! (One particularly helpful verse on prayer is Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.") And make sure that you really do pray specifically about what is bothering you and then give it to Jesus and LEAVE IT WITH HIM!!! Don't take it back. And if you start worrying about it again, pray again and give it to Him again. Praying scripture is a great help (e.g. "Lord, please help me to think about whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right....")
2. Read your Bible everyday. I like to read mine in the morning first thing, and last thing before bed. Pray that the Holy Spirit would show you what needs to change in your heart every time before you read and when He shows you, repent of it and confess it to God. This can remove a lot of that cluttered feeling. The more you read your Bible, the more it will train your mind to see everything in the light of the scripture.
3. Sing scripture songs (that actually use Scripture) and hymns. I love the Hide 'em in Your Heart songs for scripture songs. As for hymns, I'm not talking about 'worship songs'. I'm talking about good, old fashioned hymns. Even though his theology was a bit off, a lot of Charles Wesley's hymns are really wonderful. One of my favorites is "And Can it be That I Should Gain" (I like to sing that while I'm washing dishes... just because it's hard to sing while you're breathless from vacuuming). :-)
Ok, now are you ready for a little list of don'ts?
4. Don't spend too much time watching movies. They just add to the clutteredness, and they can really make you feel disturbed and anxious.
5. Don't spend too much time listening to secular music. (Now I'm not saying that you can't ever listen to secular music, but make sure that you limit the time you devote to it.)
6. Don't read romance novels. These sow discontentment and most teach you that the outward appearance is all that matters (that goes for romance movies too).
Now, one thing that I would like to challenge you to do is a fast. This is a mind and heart fast to get you out of the cluttered state and into a peaceful one. Here is what the fast looks like:
For one week you give up entertainment (this includes movies, YouTube videos, and books), secular music, video games, and thoughts that are not glorifying to Jesus (for instance, hateful thoughts, lusting thoughts, and coveting thoughts).
Ok? So now you've removed those things from your life, something has to take their place, right? Of course right! ;-)
So what is going to take their place? Prayer, Bible reading, and hymns. Read your Bible first thing in the morning, right before bed (about a chapter each time), and then whenever you would normally read a book go ahead and read your Bible. Pray in the morning when you read your Bible (Just to let you know, you don't have to do this alone, if you have little kids you can read your Bible outloud and pray with them), at night before bed, whenever you have a thought that is not glorifying to Jesus, and whenever the rest of your family is watching a movie or something use that time for prayer as well. Instead of listening to secular music while you work or just to kill time, sing hymns and scripture songs. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather hear "And Can It Be" than "Man, I Feel Like a Woman". ;-)
At the beginning of the week pray and ask God to show you areas in your life that are not submitted to Him or are against His word, and when He shows you focus on praying about those things throughout the week.
When you pray don't just pray for yourself, make sure that you pray for others as well.
Now of course, you can modify this fast to fit your needs. The first time I did it I also did a sugar fast because I wanted to make sure that I didn't turn to food when i was bored. The second time I did it, I only did a movie fast and I allowed myself to listen to secular music if I wanted to (though that time didn't have the same effect as when I did the whole fast because I still had entertainment). But you can also do an internet fast, a dessert fast, etc.
If you do it, make sure to come and let me know how it went for you. :-)
Now obviously, no matter what we do God is the One who "restores my soul". So during the fast pray that He would restore your soul.
To end with here is Psalm 23.
"The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever."
Friday, August 21, 2009
PTGW Part Eight A: Taking Care of Your Body
Don't give up on this post after just reading the title! I know that most of the time it is very discouraging to read anything about taking care of your body, whether it be losing weight or skin care or makeup or whatever. But I'm not going to present some impossible idea of how to change your appearance. Rather I'd like to give you a few realistic ideas of how to take care of your body.
Taking care of your body and your appearance is very important; it is part of being a good witness for Jesus Christ. That doesn't mean that you should spend three hours a day on your appearance, but it does mean that you should remember that even though God looks at your heart, people will see your appearance first. (But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 - yes, I know it's out of context, but it's still true)
God can work through everyone no matter how they look or smell or whatever, but if my dad gave me a beautiful dress to wear and I wore it every day and didn't wash it and it got all grey and dirty and I told everyone that my Dad had given it to me, well... that wouldn't make them think very well of my Dad, would it? "Oh my goodness! I'm sure glad I'm not his daughter! Look at what she wears... she doesn't even look clean!"
We should be so proud of being God's daughters that we want to give Him a 'good name' by looking like what we are... taken care of and loved very very much.
Also, when you get married your husband is going to want to be proud of your appearance. So start on good habits now so that when you get married you'll have a head start.
Now here are a few things that I'm NOT saying.
1. I'm NOT saying that you should lose weight
2. I'm NOT saying that you have to wear makeup
3. I'm NOT saying that you should obsess about how you look and constantly be running to the mirror
4. I'm NOT saying that you need to be self conscious if your clothes aren't brand-new
Ok? Now that we've gotten that straightened out... here are a few ideas of how to take care of your body.
1. Stay clean. This means taking a shower when you need it. Some people can get away with one a week and some people need one a day. A good way to tell if you need one is if you don't smell fresh or your hair feels stiff and greasy. Simply staying clean is an excellent place to start on having a good appearance.
2. Get dressed in the morning. Don't go to the grocery store in your pjs and slippers. Aside from modesty issues, is life as a Christian really so depressing that you can't bear to get ready for the day???
3. Do your hair. I know, it's basic, but it's important to have your hair look neat and tidy. Now I can't brush my hair when it's dry because it's so curly that it would just frizz and I'd end up looking something like Ronald MacDonald. ;-) But on days that I don't get my hair wet, I still smooth it and put it up in a bun.
4. Drink water. Drinking water can help you to have nice skin, give you energy, and help you not to smell bad when you 'perspire'.
5. Go for a walk or a bikeride OUTSIDE every day if you can. It doesn't have to be long, I like walking a quarter mile most days. This will get your blood flowing nicely, give you a chance to be peaceful (no listening to music), and help you be more energetic.
6. Make sure that your clothes are always clean, patched, and wrinkle-free. It doesn't matter if your clothes aren't new, you can look just as nice in 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) hand clothes as in brand-new clothes as long as they are pressed and clean.
7. Take care of your teeth. Now I'm not saying that you need to get braces, teeth whiteners, etc. But if you take care of your teeth (brushing and flossing every day) your teeth will look nice and you won't have to worry as much about bad breath.
8. Practice good posture. Stand up straight! You are proud of your Father, now walk like it!
9. Wear a Smile! That is a very important thing that you can do for your appearance. If you have a smile it won't matter if your teeth are crooked, your clothes old, or your hair is frizzy! Smiling is a very easy and simple way to look pretty and bless people.
10. Dress like a Lady. (I assume that no men are reading this, but if they are they should dress like Gentlemen, not Ladies.) ;-) Don't look as if you are ashamed of your gender. It is so refreshing to see a woman who isn't hiding under baggy pants and t-shirts and yet is not flaunting her body in mini-skirts and tight shirts.
11. Do the things that God tells us to in His Word. This is THE MOST important thing of all. If you live a clean life through Jesus, than others will have a 'good feeling' about you. I don't know why, but that seems to be the way it works. :-)
Now if you want to you can do other things like put on a little bit of makeup etc. But the most important thing is to be clean and neat, and to smile.
I don't know about you, but when I see someone who doesn't really take care of themselves I think "Oh dear, they must be quite unhappy with their life."
As Christians, we have been blessed with a Father who cares for us no matter what happens. Let's show the world how much we appreciate Him by taking care of His temple (our bodies).
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Next time I'll be talking about taking care of your soul (which is infinitely more important than your body). As usual, I love getting comments (as long as they're polite). I have no idea if anyone reads my posts unless they comment.
Taking care of your body and your appearance is very important; it is part of being a good witness for Jesus Christ. That doesn't mean that you should spend three hours a day on your appearance, but it does mean that you should remember that even though God looks at your heart, people will see your appearance first. (But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 - yes, I know it's out of context, but it's still true)
God can work through everyone no matter how they look or smell or whatever, but if my dad gave me a beautiful dress to wear and I wore it every day and didn't wash it and it got all grey and dirty and I told everyone that my Dad had given it to me, well... that wouldn't make them think very well of my Dad, would it? "Oh my goodness! I'm sure glad I'm not his daughter! Look at what she wears... she doesn't even look clean!"
We should be so proud of being God's daughters that we want to give Him a 'good name' by looking like what we are... taken care of and loved very very much.
Also, when you get married your husband is going to want to be proud of your appearance. So start on good habits now so that when you get married you'll have a head start.
Now here are a few things that I'm NOT saying.
1. I'm NOT saying that you should lose weight
2. I'm NOT saying that you have to wear makeup
3. I'm NOT saying that you should obsess about how you look and constantly be running to the mirror
4. I'm NOT saying that you need to be self conscious if your clothes aren't brand-new
Ok? Now that we've gotten that straightened out... here are a few ideas of how to take care of your body.
1. Stay clean. This means taking a shower when you need it. Some people can get away with one a week and some people need one a day. A good way to tell if you need one is if you don't smell fresh or your hair feels stiff and greasy. Simply staying clean is an excellent place to start on having a good appearance.
2. Get dressed in the morning. Don't go to the grocery store in your pjs and slippers. Aside from modesty issues, is life as a Christian really so depressing that you can't bear to get ready for the day???
3. Do your hair. I know, it's basic, but it's important to have your hair look neat and tidy. Now I can't brush my hair when it's dry because it's so curly that it would just frizz and I'd end up looking something like Ronald MacDonald. ;-) But on days that I don't get my hair wet, I still smooth it and put it up in a bun.
4. Drink water. Drinking water can help you to have nice skin, give you energy, and help you not to smell bad when you 'perspire'.
5. Go for a walk or a bikeride OUTSIDE every day if you can. It doesn't have to be long, I like walking a quarter mile most days. This will get your blood flowing nicely, give you a chance to be peaceful (no listening to music), and help you be more energetic.
6. Make sure that your clothes are always clean, patched, and wrinkle-free. It doesn't matter if your clothes aren't new, you can look just as nice in 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) hand clothes as in brand-new clothes as long as they are pressed and clean.
7. Take care of your teeth. Now I'm not saying that you need to get braces, teeth whiteners, etc. But if you take care of your teeth (brushing and flossing every day) your teeth will look nice and you won't have to worry as much about bad breath.
8. Practice good posture. Stand up straight! You are proud of your Father, now walk like it!
9. Wear a Smile! That is a very important thing that you can do for your appearance. If you have a smile it won't matter if your teeth are crooked, your clothes old, or your hair is frizzy! Smiling is a very easy and simple way to look pretty and bless people.
10. Dress like a Lady. (I assume that no men are reading this, but if they are they should dress like Gentlemen, not Ladies.) ;-) Don't look as if you are ashamed of your gender. It is so refreshing to see a woman who isn't hiding under baggy pants and t-shirts and yet is not flaunting her body in mini-skirts and tight shirts.
11. Do the things that God tells us to in His Word. This is THE MOST important thing of all. If you live a clean life through Jesus, than others will have a 'good feeling' about you. I don't know why, but that seems to be the way it works. :-)
Now if you want to you can do other things like put on a little bit of makeup etc. But the most important thing is to be clean and neat, and to smile.
I don't know about you, but when I see someone who doesn't really take care of themselves I think "Oh dear, they must be quite unhappy with their life."
As Christians, we have been blessed with a Father who cares for us no matter what happens. Let's show the world how much we appreciate Him by taking care of His temple (our bodies).
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Next time I'll be talking about taking care of your soul (which is infinitely more important than your body). As usual, I love getting comments (as long as they're polite). I have no idea if anyone reads my posts unless they comment.
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