The Beginning of a New Chapter

On January 7th, 2012 at 11:00 am, Kit and I got married in the same church that my parents and grandparents were married in. :-) We have been married for almost 5 weeks now and it has already been a learning and growing experience. I hope to blog more about the different issues I face as a new wife soon, though I feel that I could use advice more than giving advice in this area... so if anyone has any ideas or tips for me... they would be greatly appreciated. :-)

Anyway, here are a few pictures from the best day of my life. :-)

Getting ready for the big moment :-)


Dad walked me down the isle, Pastor Walker did the sermon and Dad did the vows... then Pastor Walker pronounced us husband and wife and...

Questions About Struggles

Last Thursday I received this comment on one of my posts. I have sat down several times to respond to it, but it raises some difficult questions and I feel rather out of my league. If any of the older women (or young ladies) have some loving help to give in the comment section I would greatly appreciate it. :-) My attempt at a response is below her comment. :-)

Hello, Joy & All Readers
First of all I just want to say God Bless you and every person that shared their thoughts on this blog! I believe it’s truly important to have these informative blogs that help give guidance to young women, or men; especially in regards to topics like this one.
My name is Beatrice, and I’m 20 years young. I came to God about 2 years ago now. I was raised in the church but strayed for the most part of my teens and came back to Him, only by His mercy; grace; love and will for my life. And I thank Him for that every day. I’ve dealt with low self- esteem; sexual immorality; abuse (both mental and physical) and a number of other things. And I thank God that through all of my faults He’s forgiven me, and forgotten my past and truly helped me to forgive myself, and forget my past as well.
The reason I share all of this with you is I believe it’s important to let you know a little bit about me. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this but it’s been my understanding that through our faith in Jesus Christ we are all a family and apart of one body. So, I feel I can look to you all as my sisters; empty vessels I can trust God to use; to shine any wisdom; knowledge; truth; or any insight He might want myself or any other future reader to receive.
Since I’ve come to God I’ve fallen in Love with Him in a way I never even dreamt possible. He’s truly my best friend and I believe I can tell Him any and everything. And often I’ll wait for His responses to anything I might seek Him for... but in this particular case I’m truly finding it a little difficult because I find myself doing things that I normally wouldn’t. I always bring every inappropriate thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ whenever I realize an inappropriate thought has entered my mind. And at first it was a little difficult for me to remember to bring my thoughts into captivity, and at the same time it was a little embarrassing, because I wasn’t use to bringing these thoughts not only to my attention but to Gods as well. But I consider myself blessed that I was directed to do that because it’s only made my relationship with Him better. So having said all of that (I’m sorry if I’m dragging this out by the way, I’ve never done anything like this before =D) my problem is that I feel this method that I’ve used time and time again isn’t proving itself to be as effective as it is in mostly all other areas of my life where I still use it. And I feel that’s where my worrying is stemming from.

Right now I am worried about two main things. (And I’m going to do my best to make this as short as possible for your convenience and the convenience of other readers =S) I started liking a friend of mine that’s a guy because I wouldn’t stop hearing from everyone including himself just how cute we’d be together. I constantly heard promises of us being married (mind you this is after we both came to God) and how good we would be together. And I distinctly remember shutting those thoughts down immediately. For two main reasons; 1st he and I had a sorted past when we were still of the world; 2nd I didn’t want anyone (family/friend or not) to presume they knew what God’s will was for my life no matter how harmless they thought their comments were (there is power in the tongue and I had an eerie feeling about that notion whenever it would come up) but for months people (both family and friends) kept putting that notion of my friend and I being together, out into my sphere of influence. And as I mentioned earlier I had low-self esteem issues growing up, and only recently started truly dealing with it and getting to the root of the cause. (I would draw to those who would show interest in me; not all of the time but 80% of the time I did and maybe 20% of the time I didn’t) So before you knew it feelings for my guy friend manifested and no matter how long I would pray, fast, and plea to God to take them away, they wouldn’t budge. Months later when I was questioned by him to see if I liked him; I found out he’d only been saying that he thought it would be cute to see us together; but didn’t really mean it (mind you he said he didn’t mean it after I’d taken a bold step with God and decided to shave my hair off for reasons He’s still explaining to me to this very day. The decision to take that step was mainly to honour how God sees me over the eyes of everyone else, including myself. I believe God needed to start a healing process and He knows how to heal each and every one of us in our own unique way). Nonetheless you can imagine my heartbreak; anger; and frustration. I hadn’t asked for this, I didn’t want to feel this way, and about my friend that I didn’t even like in the first place; at times it was so depressing.
But through all of that God released loads of peace and happiness into my life, so much so that after some months had passed I truly felt healed of the heartbreak I thought I’d experienced. And then the unthinkable happened... the feelings returned. And they couldn’t have come at a worse time.
This leads me to the pinnacle of my blog response... I’m working at a new job and I realized only a few shifts in that this particular job isn’t right for me. (I couldn’t have come to this realization at a better time, because this past January 2011 I just started training in my schools post secondary culinary arts program. And I’m sure you’ve already guessed that the job I got was in of course a kitchen... =D)

About a couple weeks after I realized that I do in fact love to cook food, there is something very satisfying about the end result, and a snapshot that just go hand in hand; however to pursue this as a career where I’d have to make further financial investments into the culinary institute I was currently registered in for semesters that would follow my current one... that I just can’t see happening.
So as you can imagine I’ve found myself in a sticky situation because, I want to go where ever I believe God wants me; trying to be obedient to any of His calls is of the upmost importance to me. Being obedient to His directions has helped not only me but others as well. So with faith I’d like to believe that I’ve been following Him according to His will for my life; trusting that even through my mistakes He will still receive the glory from the decisions I make unto Him.

As a result I’m a progressive dropout student; with a willingness to go or do anything I believe is Gods will for my life; however this is my actual conundrum... this place I started working at has a male line cook I find myself attracted to... and the upsetting thing is he’s not even a godly man, and from what I’ve gathered he’s not trying to be. And you’d think this would probably help me loose the attraction towards him almost instantaneously, but it’s not and it’s troubling me a lot because along with that about a week and a half ago I had an inappropriate thought about my co-worker and myself, and as God is my witness that hasn’t happened to me in almost 2 years....
I believe I handled that specific situation as best as I could, because I confessed my troubles to my sister and brother and asked them to pray for me so that I might be healed. And I just thank God with all of my heart because almost instantly it was like there was a block on my mind; like a wall separating my thoughts. Placing the improper thoughts on a side where they seemed blurry and couldn’t enter into my mind; it was almost like the thought was forgotten, you know?
But anyhow now I’m not quite sure what to do. My feelings for my guy friend seemed to have returned, accompanying the new feelings I have for my co-worker. And I’ve been seriously considering asking for a transfer; and that bothers me for 3 distinct reasons. 1st I was just hired and I don’t like the idea of asking to move to another location when they hired me at this specific location because they needed me there; and I believe God placed me there for a reason. 2nd I feel like I’d mainly be transferring because I’m trying to get away from this individual; which is madness because I shouldn’t be runny from anything; God didn’t give me the spirit of fear, but of peace and a sound mind. And the 3rd reason I’m troubled is this new location I’d be asking for the possible transfer to is sort of close to my original residence in another city; and they haven’t opened yet; they’ll be opening anywhere from a few weeks to a couple months maybe.

I can’t believe how much I wrote I’m so sorry. I really just wanted to make sure I gave you as much information as possible; so that it would help with whatever advice you feel led to give me; or anyone else for that matter. I just want to thank you again for taking the time to read all of this, and I hope God gives you a word that you can pass on to me, or anyone else in my situation that will help through what I can only assume is a growing process.
Take Care and God Bless; I hope to hear from you soon.

P.s this is my email address just in case... Beat_rice_13@hotmail.com


Dear Beatrice,

First I'd like to say thank you so much for everything that you shared! :-) I (and I'm sure everyone else who has had the opportunity to read about your experiences) feel honored by your trust and sincerely hope and pray that God will use us to bless and help you!

That being said, I cannot tell you what you should do in your specific situation - only God can do that and it does sound as though you are seeking His will. However, I can share some Bible verses and general principles that may be helpful to be reminded of.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you." - Philippians 4:6-9

"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints" Ephesians 6:11-28

I don't know what other posts on this blog that you have read, but anything else that I would say to you would be included in my post "Lily Among Thorns - Part 2"

In that post you can be directed to other places where I've shared the things that have helped me in the area of mental purity. The most important thing that I would say is to keep your eyes on God through reading His Word and spending time alone in prayer with Him.

My dear sister, you have done the right thing in seeking Godly accountability, praying, and in being constant in the battle of your heart and mind. It will always be a battle, but by God's grace you will prevail - through Christ we are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37). Just remember that just because it is a struggle does not mean that it is a sin - Jesus Christ was sinless, and yet was faced temptation. It is what we do with the temptation that is important and will decide if we are keeping in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-26 ) or the flesh.

One last Bible verse that I would like to share with you is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Continue to turn to the Lord in your weakness, that His strength may be perfected in you! :-)

I will be praying for you, for encouragement, wisdom, and strength! May God bless you! If you think of it, I would love to hear from you - how you are doing and any updates on your current situation.

in Christ's love,
Joy

Lily Among Thorns - Part 2

Okay, so now we know what a Lily looks like, and we know that is what we want, but HOW DO WE GET THERE FROM WHERE WE ARE??? Of course, God is the One who does the work in us and we wouldn't even be wanting to be closer to Him unless He had called us (1 John 4:19), but so often we feel the fire of passion for God growing in our spirit and we just don't know what to do with it. Thankfully, God has given us very clear instructions in the Bible about what He wants us to do when we feel Him calling us to a more fulfilled and God-centered life than we now have.
(Note: See the end of the post for some recommended tools in starting out on this new phase of your life.)
So what are we supposed to do after we have 'accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior'?

1."Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
"Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass. And He shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light and thy judgment as the noonday." Psalm 37:5-6 (Go and read all of Psalm 37, it's really amazing!)
Okay, so, how are we supposed to commit our way unto the Lord? PRAY!!!
As you start out on this brand new phase of your life, go into a quiet room all by yourself (the bathroom works good for this if you honestly can't find anywhere else), get down on your knees (yes, I'm serious), and pray out loud to the God of the Universe who is calling to your heart (if you pray quietly or in a whisper, that's okay too, but it is important that you say the words with your mouth as well as your heart).
Commit your life, job, relationships, health, anger, fear, talents, everything to your Father, and ask Him to direct your paths and to show you what to do next.
Ask Him to show you what is in your life that is tying you to this world, is an idol to you or is standing between you and Him.

2. "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." Galations 6:7-8
As you begin to do this, God will show you what is that you are idolizing. What it is that you are escaping to when you should be going to Him. (Escaping might sound something like this: "Oh man, I'm so stressed out! I just need to shut my mind off for a little while. I think I'll go watch a movie... go on facebook... vent on my blog... listen to music... go shopping... have some chocolate...")
One good way to evaluate whether or not something is an idol is to ask yourself whether or not you could live without it. (I believe that Leslie Ludy has a whole section on this in her book "Set Apart Femininity" that was very helpful to me. I wish that I could quote her, but I don't have the book at the moment.)

3. "I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish." Galations 5:16-17
(It goes on to list what the works of the flesh are... very interesting. If you have a moment, make sure to go read Galations 5:13-26)
As God shows you what you are replacing Him with, GET RID OF IT!!! Let nothing stand against your pursuit of Him! And please realize that He might not be calling you to never ever have another piece of chocolate again, but perhaps if you go on a fast from it, you might have an easier time "sowing to the spirit and not the flesh".

4."Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints..." Ephesians 6:18
Take the time that is freed up by getting rid of your 'escape', and use it to read the Bible and pray. Make sure not to fill it up with something else. If you get stop watching movies but take that time to listen to music (yes, even Christian music), than you are missing the point. The whole point of any kind of fast in this context (whether of entertainment, food, or anything), is to deny the flesh and to free up more time to spend with God and find out what He is calling you to.
I'll give you a very quick example out of my own life. My parents go for a walk every evening and it takes them about 30-45 minutes. Now by this time my chores are all done and I am free to do whatever I want (within reason of course) ;-). This is a perfect opportunity to spend time in prayer. (Besides, I found that when I had a time limit like that, it made it so that I was not constantly looking at the clock or trying to 'hurry up and get it over with'.)
This is an exercise of your will and your spirit, and if you are not used to it this can be tiring, but it will be very rewarding if you use the time to pray according to God's will.

(One quick note on prayer: if you run out of things to pray for, try opening the Bible to a Scripture, say Ephesians 6:10-18 or Psalm 37, and praying through it. - ie "Dear Father, help me not to fret myself because of evildoers, and not to be envious against the workers of iniquity... Rather work in my heart that I may trust in You, and give me wisdom and strength from You to do good. Help me to delight myself in You, and let the desire of my heart be to be a good and faithful servant to You. Lord, I do commit my way unto you, and do choose to trust in you, please give me righteousness that shines like the light
Also, consider this quote: "There is a general kind of praying which fails for lack of precision. It is as if a regiment of soldiers should all fire off their guns anywhere. Possibly somebody would be killed, but the majority of the enemy would be missed." - Charles Spurgeon, The Metroplitan Tabernacle Pulpit)

5. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
As God shows you the strongholds in your life, go ahead and use the mighty weapons that He has given you (Ephesians 6:10-18) to pull down the strongholds, cast down the imaginations of your heart (for some young ladies sensual imaginings is a huge stumbling block) etc.

6. "Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”" 1 Peter 1:13-16
Continue to fight against the idols in your life by refreshing yourself through prayer.
Also see "The Physical Side of Mental Purity" "Compromises" "Crushes on Unavailable Men" "PTGW Part 8: Taking Care of Your Soul" "Questions About Crushes, Attention, and Other Stuff!" "A Joyful, Thankful Heart" and "Tips for Mental Purity" for some more in depth practical suggestions about some of the more common strongholds and stumbling blocks for young ladies.

7. "Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these.”" Mark 12:29-31
Pray, pray, pray! Pray without ceasing! Pray for the strength of God in this time of growing in your life! Pray that He would make you into a woman after His own Heart! Pray specifically for the godly qualities you are lacking! You are going to need His help, for "...Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”" Matthew 19:26b


And now for the recommended tools that I promised!

1. "The Steps to Freedom" by Neil Anderson - this is a great tool for the start of your journey and can help you to identify the strongholds in your life and cast them down. I would highly recommend this to EVERYONE!!! (Don't get turned off by how small it is, it is a powerful tool because it uses the Truth of God's Word to identify and cast down strongholds.) Highly Recommended

2. "Praying God's Word: Breaking Free From Spiritual Strongholds" by Beth Moore - this is an excellent place to start praying God's word, and gives a little more concentrated help on the areas of weakness in your life. Recommended

3. "Get Out of That Pit: A 40-Day Devotional Journal" by Beth Moore - I have never read the original book, but this journal is very helpful for those struggling with depression. Recommended

4. "Set Apart Femininity" by Leslie Ludy - This book is one of the main ways that God called me to more than the mediocre Christianity I was living. Highly Recommended

5. "Wrestling Prayer" by Eric and Leslie Ludy - If you are looking for a step by step guide to becoming more than a mediocre Christian, this is an amazing and very challenging book to grow you in your faith and service to the Lord! Highly Recommended

6. "The Bible" the supernaturally inspired and perfect Word of God. Highly Highly Highly HIGHLY Recommended!!!!


And just one last word of encouragement... “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." Luke 11:9-10

(These verses in this post are just meant to get you started, please go ahead and read the full chapters and books that I have quoted from here and continue to seek God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength. As usual, if you have any questions, or if you come across any other verses that you think would enhance this post, or would be a blessing to those reading it, please leave a comment.)

Lily Among Thorns - Part 1

"As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters." Song of Solomon 2:2

Who wouldn't want to be something as beautiful as a lily, especially when the alternative is an ugly thorn whose sole purpose is to wound and destroy?

Although the Song of Solomon speaks mostly about the love in a marriage relationship, we know that the only way that we can truly become as a lily among thorns is through a life devoted to Christ. It is only through Christ that we can live at all; without him we are completely dead spiritually.

Now I know that we need to look at Scripture as a whole and not just take one verse and run wild with it, but this post is based on the principles that I have seen all throughout Scripture and I have chosen this particular verse because it illustrates the goal so beautifully. So please just bear with me as I use the idea in this Scripture to create a picture in your mind.

To be truly set apart, to be so obviously more beautiful and different than others, to be as pure and unsullied as a lily. We all, as Christian young ladies, want this. In fact I would venture to guess that every single woman out there - Christian or not - would love the idea of being so beautiful that she is like a lily compared to thorns.

So why, when we look around at the Christian young ladies that we see, does it seem that the Church is so full of thorns without a single lily? Or at best we see a bunch of thorns with only the promise of an unopened bud breaking the monotony of identical brown 'stickers' once in a very great while?
Well, I know the answer, and I will tell you what it is. Being a Lily is not an easy thing. It is easier to be a comfortable worldly Christian (hey, at least thorns are alive to some extent, right?), than to pray and strive towards being completely devoted to Christ.

This idea was amazingly summed up by Ian Thomas when he said, "Carnal Christians profess Christ as their Redeemer, but their actions and decisions are for the sake of their own interests and for who they are in themselves rather than for God's interest and for Who He is. Their minds are still the workshops of the devil, for he can persuade countless numbers of professing Christians to try and be Christians without Christ."

Do you want me to tell you what being a Lily really looks like in everyday life? It looks like spending time praying and deepening your relationship with God every single day. Treating others (including your family) as better than yourself. Loving your enemies and doing good to those who hate you. Saying no to immodest clothing and indecent behavior. Giving up anything in your life that sows discontentment or resentment or any kind of sin - whether it's movies, tv shows, books, the internet or friends. It means standing up when Jesus Christ is spit upon, not sitting by and hoping that no one notices you. It means helping the helpless, befriending the friendless, giving hope to the hopeless. It means being Jesus' hands, feet, eyes, ears, mouth and heart in this world. It means making Jesus Christ your First Love, letting Him decide what your earthly love story will look like. It means being willing to do anything and everything for Him and through Him. It means experiencing the fruits of the spirit in your life. It means NOT fitting in. It means that you stand out. It means recognizing that you have NO beauty in and of yourself (yeah, try telling that to the pop-Christian culture), but ONLY when the One who is the "perfection of beauty" (Psalm 50) is allowed to shine through you.
And that's only the beginning of the list! Sounds exhausting- not to mention impossible- doesn't it?

Well, without God it is impossible. You can't do it (yeah, forget about the "you can do anything you want" message- it's a lie). Only Jesus can when you allow Him and ask Him to work through you! And guess what?! When He does the work, you will find more rest and beauty in your life than you ever thought possible. Through Jesus you can become a true Lily, with the beauty and life of our Savior radiating from you. (And by the way, being a true Lily is the only way to attract the right kind of man; who wants to marry someone who is attracted to a thorn?!) A Christ-centered life is the ONLY life worth living.

So you know what being a God-centered woman looks like (if not, just read the Bible...), but right now you're a Christian young woman who is tired of trying to look like a thorn (i.e. normal) while wishing to experience the true fulfillment that comes from pouring your life out for Christ.

First of all, Jesus is the only one that can put this desire in your heart, so if it is there you can be sure that He will grow you into a true Lily when you ask Him to take your life and do His work through you.

Since this blog is about the practical application of Biblical principles, the 2nd part of this will be about a practical way to take the next step towards being a 'Lily among thorns' (or a woman 'after God's own heart')

Before I finish, I will give you the first thing to do: Pray and dedicate your life to Christ. Ask Him to take over in every area of your life and to do His work through you.
"Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain." Psalm 127:1

"A pure heart is one to which all that is not of God is strange and jarring." - John Talver

Living in Fear of Pleasure

Have you ever noticed how many devoted Christians seem to live in fear of enjoying anything? Almost as if when they take pleasure in anything they are doing something wrong.

I know of so many Christian families who desire to serve the Lord with their whole heart, but they continually walk around with sad, worried faces on as they live with the concern that perhaps they are not pleasing to God.
You know what, though? Walking around being controlled by fear isn't pleasing to God! Jesus did not die on the Cross to set us free from the bondage of sin and death, only to intend us to fall right back into another kind of slavery to fear and anxiety.
Now I'm not saying that we shouldn't strive to please God, that we shouldn't fear God, or that we shouldn't do our absolute best to follow His Word. But rather that as we go about our daily lives doing all those things, we should make sure to enjoy the wonderful things that God has blessed us with.

I created this blog because I noticed that there was a great deal being said about what was the right thing to do, but nothing about the practical aspect of how exactly to do it. I still think that it is an important thing to address, and I plan on continuing to do so. But as we take principles from the Bible and apply them to our lives in this day and age, let's make sure not to impose extra Biblical standards or rules on ourselves or others. Rules like: no wine, no boy/girl friendships, no makeup, no cars, no doing anything outside of the home, no fun... all work to tie us up into a spiritual and emotional bundle of worry and anxiety.

Now I understand that some people or families have certain rules that are not specifically listed in the Bible, such as no wine, and I think that it is a wonderful thing that we have the liberty to take the personal convictions that God has given us individually and apply them to our lives. (For instance, a man we know used to be an alcoholic and he was convicted of God and was able to quit. He has decided not to have even a taste of any kind of alcohol because it is too great of a temptation for him.) I think that it shows true maturity to recognize the personal weakness that each of us have, and learn how to fortify ourselves against them.

What we need to be careful of is the desire to impose the personal convictions that we have onto other people. (Now I'm not talking about things like not getting drunk; that is something that is clearly talked about in the Bible. Rather I'm talking about things like no wine ever.) It is important to understand that different people have different weaknesses. One man can't even smell wine without putting himself into temptation, and another can enjoy several glasses and not have a problem. One girl might have a problem with romance novels, while another can read one now and then and not have any more of a struggle with her emotions (*I am talking about 'pg' rated books... 'x' rated books are not right for anyone).

The Pharisees excelled at creating extra Biblical rules. If you have never done a study on the Pharisees I would recommend doing some research on them. It is very interesting because they were the 'real' religious men of the time. The trouble is that they often would put man made laws on the same level of importance as the Torah. What their man made laws actually did for the most part was to take God's law and say, "If we aren't supposed to work on the Sabbath, than we shouldn't look in a mirror on the Sabbath because we might see a gray hair and pull it out, and thereby work and blaspheme God".
In theory, it sounds good to extend the boundaries that God put in place so that we don't ever run a chance of breaking one of His commandments. (One example of this is to take the commandment about extra-marital sex and think that if it's good to have a law against that, it's better to have a rule against pre-marital hand holding. Not a problem if it's a personal conviction, but definitely a problem if you use your own rules as a standard to judge others.)

Jesus said "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30. Romans 8:1-2 says "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death."
The Pharisees, and many Christians today, have simply exchanged the heavy burden of sin for the heavy burden of guilt. It is so sad to see so many Christian girls who seem to still be in spiritual and emotional slavery. This is not of Christ! His burden is light! If you are under a heavy burden, than give it to Jesus and be free. Free from bondage to sin and guilt, and free to have joy and pleasure in your life.

And just because your family has certain rules that you have to follow doesn't mean that you can't be free. As long as you live in your father's household you must obey the rules of the house that are not specifically against God's Word. What I'm talking about is less of a physical action, and more of a spiritual and emotional struggle.

God created good things for us to enjoy as we follow His Word. Ecclesiastes 9:7-10a says "Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart; for God has already accepted your works. Let your garments always be white, and let your head lack no oil. Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might..."

So don't forget to enjoy the beautiful and wonderful things that God has given us today! If you are interested in reading more about this, I would recommend reading the book of Romans, which is one of my favorite books of the Bible. If this subject is something that you struggle with than you will find it (and especially chapter 8) extremely helpful. :-)

Crushes on Unavailable Men

"I know this sounds REALLY bad but what if the guy you have a crush on is married and was someone you once dated. What if you ask God to take the feelings away and they still don't go away???? Please help!!!

Worried,
Anonymous"

Dear Anonymous,
I know that it's easy to get freaked out when you have strong feelings and they just won't 'go away'. Believe it or not, at one point in time most young ladies will have a crush on someone who is unavailable. Whether he's courting, engaged, or married to someone else, it is hard to deal with feelings for someone that you know you shouldn't be having feelings for. Dating aggravates this problem as it encourages you to form attachments to people that, odds are, you won't spend the rest of your life with.
But the principles are the same no matter the situation or the circumstances.
Now, here are a few ideas for you, ok?

1. Whenever you get a thought about him, or warm fuzzies about him, or anything, pray. And don't just pray about him, because that will just continue to train your brain to think about him. Try something like this. "Lord, I know that So-and-so is married, but I still have a crush on him. Please take away those feelings and help me to reserve my heart for my future husband. I pray that You would prepare me to be a good wife someday, and help me to practice guarding my heart now in preparation for the day that I am married myself. I also pray for my grandma, please heal her arthritis because it is so hard on her not to be able to walk around. Please give me wisdom of how I can bless her and make things easier on her. Thank you, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

2. "Take every thought captive and make it obedient unto Christ." Don't allow yourself to daydream or anything. Here is one way that you can 'take every thought captive'. Picture your mind as an airport, and the thoughs as airplanes that are trying to land. When one comes zooming up that you don't want in your mind, send it off. For the first week (or probably month) you will probably have to do this over 100 times a day, but it does get easier and less frequent when you practice.

Well my dear, I hope that is helpful to you. Keep reading your Bible and training your mind to think of things the way Jesus would want you to. And don't worry about your crush too much, as long as you continue to pray about it, I'm sure that God will help you with it so gradually that you won't even notice it's gone. :-)

*hugs*
Joy

"In God I Have Put My Trust... What Can Man do to Me?"

"Jill looked at the king: his mouth was open and his face was full of horror. And then she understood the devilish cunning of the enemies' plan. By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lie far stronger." C.S. Lewis "The Last Battle"

This seems to be the truth in America today. Christians, Bible-believing Christians, and especially homeschoolers, are targeted by the world. Feminists claim that Homeschooling Christians leave women "barefoot, pregnant, and powerless". Politicians publish the 'fact' that Homeschooling Christians are bad for the economy. And by 'mixing a little truth' with their lies, they make them seem impossible to contradict by any sane individual.
But you know what? This isn't a new thing. It has been around for years. In fact, if you look back to Jesus, He warned his disciples about it. We see throughout the old testament that Israel or the church in the wilderness was always a target for unbelievers to attack, why should we, as the new Israel and the church of Christ, be surprised when we are attacked in the same ways?!

But whether we are facing the horrific lies and half-truths of a prominent feminist author, being looked down at by those who wish to 'stimulate' the economy by encouraging less children, or being actually attacked in the streets by the people who's minds are dark and infected with the lies of others, we don't have to be afraid. In fact, take a good look at Matthew 5:11-12.
“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Because our King WILL win, even the persecution and 'reviling' of the children of darkness go to His glory and, in the end, our BLESSING! Now this is not to say that we should pray that we would be persecuted, in fact we should pray against it and for the conviction and salvation of those who 'revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely'. But when we ARE persecuted and lied about, we can be peaceful and joyful because we know that God will "Wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4b)
In Genesis 50:20, Joseph says this to his brothers who truly did persecute him.
"But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive."
We don't know what God's plan is, or how He is going to bring about good out of all of the evil, but we know that He IS going to.
I'm going to end with Psalm 56. I want you to read each verse, not just skim over it.

"Be merciful to me, O God, for man would swallow me up;
Fighting all day he oppresses me.
My enemies would hound me all day,
For there are many who fight against me, O Most High.

Whenever I am afraid,
I will trust in You.
In God (I will praise His word),
In God I have put my trust;
I will not fear.
What can flesh do to me?

All day they twist my words;
All their thoughts are against me for evil.
They gather together,
They hide, they mark my steps,
When they lie in wait for my life.
Shall they escape by iniquity?
In anger cast down the peoples, O God!

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
When I cry out to You,
Then my enemies will turn back;
This I know, because God is for me.
In God (I will praise His word),
In the LORD (I will praise His word),
In God I have put my trust;
I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

Vows made to You are binding upon me, O God;
I will render praises to You,
For You have delivered my soul from death.
Have You not kept my feet from falling,
That I may walk before God
In the light of the living?"