Tuesday, July 1, 2008

That Annoying Feeling (Or 'Crushes')

Ah yes, you can see it now... that pre-teen girl who giggles and blushes whenever that cute little boy walks by... the ridiculous things she will do to get his attention... Is that ok or is it really wrong?
Some of us have been raised to think that to have a 'Crush on someone' is perfectly normal and right, and some of us have been raised to think that to have a 'Crush' is just about the worst thing in the world. But guess what? Neither of those views are completely correct.

First of all, I'd better say that I'm defining "Crush" as a feeling of attraction towards someone of the opposite sex. It can be a physical or emotional attraction, but it means that you are just attracted to someone and do not share any physical intimacy with them.

Now, God created us to have these feelings. It is a good thing when we find some one of the opposite sex attractive. So we can't say that it is sinful to 'like' a boy. But since humans are never perfect we need to know when we are abusing God's gift.

1. I believe that it is wrong to train children from infancy to think that if someone is kind to you, or if you are kind to someone else that makes you their girlfriend. (You know what I mean... Billy and Gracie are only 2, but when Gracie starts to cry and Billy gives her a hug the Moms say "Oh how cute! She's his little girlfriend!" That kind of stuff makes me sick.)

2. When you get to a certain age you will be attracted to boys. That is a good thing and there is nothing you can do about it.

3. Feelings are just feelings! When you feel attracted to someone, just say "Oh, huh, look at that. I'm attracted to them. So?" And don't get freaked out and worried.
It is silly to make this emotion more important than any other emotion. I feel angry sometimes. So? No big deal as long as I don't focus on it and become obsessive about it.

4. It is not the temptation that is wrong, it is what you do with the temptation. Ok, so you might be tempted to steal a cookie... if you shrug your shoulders and walk away it's not a problem. If you keep thinking about the cookie after you've walked away and keep going back and smelling the cookie, imagining eating the cookie, that's wrong.
So you might have a desire to have a physical relationship with someone. It's not a problem if you shrug your shoulders and walk away. But don't keep thinking about it and imagining what it would be like to have it.

5. Everyone has these feelings. So it's not something to be ashamed of. It might be something you want to talk to your Mom about, or maybe your sister, but on the other hand, it's not something you should talk about all the time.

6. You can think that someone is nice without having a crush on them.

Ok, so now, we have these feelings, and we know that God created us to feel like this, but it's easy to slip into focusing on this or that guy... WHAT CAN WE DO???

1. Don't think about it. If thoughts of him keep coming into your mind just say "Nope, I'm going to think about that" and then think of something else. (You may have to do that several hundred times a minute until you get used to it.)
Tell your mind that it's not high on your 'thought priority list'.

2. When you are in company with him, try to look at what his brothers and sisters seem to think of him because if they don't like him, chances are he's not a very nice person.
I personally am rarely or never attracted to someone's looks, but rather to their character. However, I do know that this is not the case for everyone (and there's nothing wrong with that).

3. Pray about it. (These obviously aren't in order of importance because this is the most important.) Pray that if it is not of God (and to be honest with ourselves, unless we're of marriageable age, most of the time it's not of God) that He would take the feeling away.
It may be a while (sometimes even months or years), but God will take away the feeling if it is not in His plan.

4. If you are of marriageable age, compare his character next to what the Bible says is a godly man. Sometimes this in and of itself can get rid of the attraction entirely. ;-)

5. Avoid things that foster the attraction and desire. Things like Romance novels, movies, and songs can all be VERY unhelpful.

6. Sometimes just talking to your Mom or sister makes it go away... secrets tend to be more binding than non-secrets. If you don't have a great relationship with your Mom try to improve it before you talk to her, but if you don't have a Mom or a sister, you may want to find an older sister type of girl to talk to. But preferably not someone who will either encourage your attraction or be horrified by it. ;-)

7. Don't put yourself in 'alone situations' with the object of your attraction. In fact, avoiding alone situations with any boy is probably a good idea.

8. Don't ever EVER talk about to the guy you like about the fact that you especially like him.

9. Keep it away from the physical level... no holding hands or kissing or hugging.

10. Be modest... this will help your thoughts to stay pure. Dress modestly, act modestly, and no long glances. A look can be as sensual as a touch, so 'watch your eyes'. :-)

And once again, Don't be freaked out by it! Most of the stuff I've mentioned will come naturally if you don't worry about it. :-)

Well, that's about all I have to say for now... Any thoughts?


meghan said...

Heh, this is a tricky, uncomfy subject. :P :D You did a good job with those recommendations - as usual. :) You really have a knack for putting into words, your thoughts! Thanks Joy!

hannah e. said...

Wow Joy! Good job! I think you covered all that nicely! :)
I think you have some good tips in there - I especially think the one about thinking about something else is good! You can't just say "I'm NOT going to think about so and so!", because then you WILL be thinking about so and so! ;) You have to THINK ABOUT something else! :)
Praying is DEFINITELY really important! Thanks Joy! :)

Anonymous said...

Great post, Joy!!! It's really good, and you gave a lot of excellent tips too! :) Thinking about something else and praying have been the two biggest helps for me. :D

P.S. Do you have any suggestions for how to reply to someone who makes a comment about two little ones being "boyfriend/girlfriend", especially a complete stranger? Down here in the south, it seems that kind of attitude towards little babies showing affection/helping others is extremely prevalent, and it gets really annoying to have a complete stranger in Wal-Mart say that about your little brother or sister...but anyways, if you, or anyone, have any suggestions for how to handle that kind of thing, please let me know! :) I've not figured anything beyond a polite smile, yet.

Athena said...

I was just wondering, if God created us to have these feelings, as you say, and if it is a good thing when we find someone of the opposite sex attractive, then why are you encouraging us to pray the feelings away? I understand that they could eventually lead to sinful behavior, but the feelings and thoughts in themselves are not bad, yet you encourage us to stifle them and attempt to distract ourselves from them. Why?

Joy said...

Hi Athena!
I always appreciate it if people leave a blog address or something so that I know who they are. But if you don't have a blog that's fine!
Ok, first things first, I'm not saying that you need to 'pray the feeling away' or that you need to 'stifle' the feelings or thoughts.
They are God given and can bring glory to Him when encouraged in the proper context.
Basically what I'm saying in this post is

1. Don't be freaked out by these feelings
2. Don't ENCOURAGE these feelings when you are single... We've all got them strong enough without encouraging them. ;-)

When we have a crush on someone, (We'll just say that we're not thinking inappropriate things about them), it is very easy to give away a piece of our heart without having any encouragement from ourselves or anyone else.

God created one man for one woman for life... that means that we have an obligation to preserve our hearts and emotions for that one spouse.

If you are courting someone with the intention of marrying them, or are engaged, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the feelings that you have. But they should never be encouraged unless they are going to end in a Godly marriage.
It's just too easy to end up thinking about that person all the time and in inappropriate ways.

I hope that this was clear! Thanks for your comment! Please feel free to let me know what you think. :-)
Have a great day!


P.S. Obviously, I'm speaking to sincere Christian girls in this post... girls who want to honor God by keeping themselves pure until marriage. This post was to help them reach their goal of presenting themselves someday to their husbands as pure as possible. :-)

Brooke said...

You did an excellent job on this post. I enjoyed it and was encouraged by it. Thank you!!! You are such a talented writer and you hit the issues right on the head. Good job :-)

Thanks again!


meghan said...

Can I vote that we get to vote for a new poll soon? Is that rude? You know I don't mean it "rudely", right? ;)

Anonymous said...

Great post Miss Joy. I need to reread it a few times, but I think agree with your stance on the issue. I was asked before if it was "ok" to like a boy, and while it is our human nature and it will happen, we just have to be careful that we don't let our feeling rule us, especially when we're around that boy. When we do that then it becomes what people define as a "crush" and is sinful. Also sitting around with your girlfriends and discussing ANY guys is wrong and I really chaste myself not to do that.

Thank you for this encouraging post. I might put some of it on FF and link the whole thing to here. Is that ok?

Literanista said...

Hi, Joy:

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Please contact me:

Literanista said...

Hi, Joy:

Thanks for commenting at my personal blog. I work for Hachette Book Group and I was interested in sending you a review copy of Pure by Rebecca St. James: http://www.hachettebookgroupusa.com/books_9780446500418.htm

Please feel free to write to me at my work email.


3rdDaughterOfJob said...

Thank you so much for your article on "crushes". I agree with pretty much everything you said. However, I have found that in order to keep my thoughts and actions pure that I end up having to squelch some of my "attracted" feelings. I haven't been attracted to many boys in my life because most of the boys I know are not who I would consider "serious" Christians. But on the rare occasion that I am I find that I need to turn my affectionate thoughts to God in order to keep my heart in the right spot. Just thought I'd share that. Hope you don't mind! :D
I'd love to hear your response to this way of dealing with a "crush".

Joy said...

Hi there 3rdDaughterofJob! :-) I tried to comment on your blog, but I can't because your profile is labeled as private.
I do agree that 'squelching' is sometimes in order. :-) Usually just the things that I mentioned (more especially praying and then just not thinking about the crush) seem to do that for me. :-) So I think that we're saying the same things, just in different ways! :-)
(Though I do think that it would be a problem if you were really freaked out about being attracted to someone.)
Thanks for the comment! :-)

d hamlin said...

Hello Joy I found your blog and read it. It is most informative.
I have a situation where my 9 year old daugher has become the target of a friends attention, and we parenets are slightly concerned becuase this girl is quite frankly, probably gay...at 9 years old who can say, but she is masculine, and her behavior is forward and agressive. Of course no limits have been crossed thus far. We are friendly with the parents and rest of the family and do not want to over react but my daughter is the type who loves the attention.
I am wondering if you or your father has any thoughts on how best to handle this. I am trying to limit their time together. They are always supervised, of course...but now they both have taken to calling themselves by boys' names, dressing in boys clothes, making fun of their sisters playing with dolls or wearing anything femiinine, like normal girls clothes...
anyway thanks in advance for your thoughts
-Mr D Hamlin

misscompassion said...

Hello! I stumbled across this trying to find advice on something sort of like this.
I didn't read all of the comments above, so sorry if I'm repeating something someone else already said.

I've always told myself I wouldn't date until I was at least 17, my parents had no influence on it whatsoever, that's just the peg I put in place for myself. I don't necessarily think I will marry the first person I date (although my sister is happily married to her boyfriend from her senior year in high school) so it's not like once I'm 17 I think I'm going to be seriously dating...
but leading up to, I have a very good friend that we have talked about dating when I'm ready, not in a "I'm so in love with you!" way, but we both have feelings and have been friends for a while. We hang out occasionally, but if we're the only ones, it's somewhere public or at my house where my parents are there to supervise.
Is this not of God because I'm not of a 'marrying age'? I've been trying not to think about him as much, because I know it can be a distraction from God, but if I have the intent of doing what God wants me to do, and doesn't get physical or anything... is it wrong to have a crush on this boy?

Sorry all that's kind of scattered. Hope you understood all that :)

misscompassion said...

Oh, and I forgot to add, I will be 17 in about half a year.
Which doesn't necessarily mean I'll be dating then, but that's when I'll start praying about it and such.

Anonymous said...

Dear Joy,

I can I stop thinking about making myself sexually attractive for boys? I HATE these thoughts!
and about doing stuff to get his attention?

Joy said...

Dear MissCompassion and Miss Anonymous,

I have replied to your questions in a new post. Please leave a comment and let me know if my replies helped or if you want me to clarify something.
Have a good day!


P.S. Mr. Hamlin, my father would be very happy to help you. Please e-mail him at nhpatterson[at]charter[dot]net
Thank you! :-)

Anonymous said...

I know this sounds REALLY bad but what if the guy you have a crush on is married and was someone you once dated. What if you ask God to take the feelings away and they still don't go away???? Please help!!!


kinoko said...

I don't get it. What's sinful about being attracted to someone? Or even, what's sinful about having physical intimacy with someone?
I don't really understand why you have to marry someone to hold hands with them or kiss them. Is this even anywhere in the Bible? Because I've never seen anything like this in the Bible. Even if it is, who is to say it applies to our life today? There are lots of things in the Bible that are purely cultural (like women wearing veils when they pray or not being able to speak in church).
Personally, I think God created physical intimacy so we could better express our feelings towards the people we love, and I can't see why that would be a bad or sinful thing. Of course, I don't think people should be promiscuous since our body is our temple after all, but people also shouldn't be sexually repressed because that can also be bad for us. It's finding a healthy balance that is the key :)

Joy said...

Hello Kinoko,

Thank you so much for your comment. Actually, I believe that you may have missed the point of this post... the fact is, so many young women - who were not of marriageable age - of my acquaintance reacted to the feelings of a crush with the same intensity as if they had been promiscuous. My intention with this post was to help them to accept their feelings as normal and deal with them in a God honoring way.'

Absolutely God created physical intimacy, and in the right context it is a beautiful thing to enjoy. :-)

Thank you for your comment, have a great day!


3rdDaughterOfJob said...

In response to Kinoko's post:

I have always understood from the scriptures that it was an honorable thing to refrain from too much physical contact with the opposite gender as it could lead to sexual sin.

" 1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. "
1 Corinthians 7:1-2

This is not to say that it is necessarily wrong to have physical contact with guys, but I think you should be careful. For myself, I like think about it this way: if you would be uncomfortable ever showing your future husband a video tape of what you are doing with your boyfriend, then it is probably not something you should be doing.

Also, be careful about saying what is and isn't cultural in the Bible. If one thing in the Bible is merely cultural, what is to keep the whole Word of God from becoming just a "cultural" manuscript.

I sincerely hope you the best with all your friends and relationships. I hope that something I have said will be helpful and/or encouraging to you.


Beatrice A said...

Hello, Joy & All Readers
First of all I just want to say God Bless you and every person that shared their thoughts on this blog! I believe it’s truly important to have these informative blogs that help give guidance to young women, or men; especially in regards to topics like this one.
My name is Beatrice, and I’m 20 years young. I came to God about 2 years ago now. I was raised in the church but strayed for the most part of my teens and came back to Him, only by His mercy; grace; love and will for my life. And I thank Him for that every day. I’ve dealt with low self- esteem; sexual immorality; abuse (both mental and physical) and a number of other things. And I thank God that through all of my faults He’s forgiven me, and forgotten my past and truly helped me to forgive myself, and forget my past as well.
The reason I share all of this with you is I believe it’s important to let you know a little bit about me. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this but it’s been my understanding that through our faith in Jesus Christ we are all a family and apart of one body. So, I feel I can look to you all as my sisters; empty vessels I can trust God to use; to shine any wisdom; knowledge; truth; or any insight He might want myself or any other future reader to receive.
Since I’ve come to God I’ve fallen in Love with Him in a way I never even dreamt possible. He’s truly my best friend and I believe I can tell Him any and everything. And often I’ll wait for His responses to anything I might seek Him for... but in this particular case I’m truly finding it a little difficult because I find myself doing things that I normally wouldn’t. I always bring every inappropriate thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ whenever I realize an inappropriate thought has entered my mind. And at first it was a little difficult for me to remember to bring my thoughts into captivity, and at the same time it was a little embarrassing, because I wasn’t use to bringing these thoughts not only to my attention but to Gods as well. But I consider myself blessed that I was directed to do that because it’s only made my relationship with Him better. So having said all of that (I’m sorry if I’m dragging this out by the way, I’ve never done anything like this before =D) my problem is that I feel this method that I’ve used time and time again isn’t proving itself to be as effective as it is in mostly all other areas of my life where I still use it. And I feel that’s where my worrying is stemming from.

Beatrice A said...

Right now I am worried about two main things. (And I’m going to do my best to make this as short as possible for your convenience and the convenience of other readers =S) I started liking a friend of mine that’s a guy because I wouldn’t stop hearing from everyone including himself just how cute we’d be together. I constantly heard promises of us being married (mind you this is after we both came to God) and how good we would be together. And I distinctly remember shutting those thoughts down immediately. For two main reasons; 1st he and I had a sorted past when we were still of the world; 2nd I didn’t want anyone (family/friend or not) to presume they knew what God’s will was for my life no matter how harmless they thought their comments were (there is power in the tongue and I had an eerie feeling about that notion whenever it would come up) but for months people (both family and friends) kept putting that notion of my friend and I being together, out into my sphere of influence. And as I mentioned earlier I had low-self esteem issues growing up, and only recently started truly dealing with it and getting to the root of the cause. (I would draw to those who would show interest in me; not all of the time but 80% of the time I did and maybe 20% of the time I didn’t) So before you knew it feelings for my guy friend manifested and no matter how long I would pray, fast, and plea to God to take them away, they wouldn’t budge. Months later when I was questioned by him to see if I liked him; I found out he’d only been saying that he thought it would be cute to see us together; but didn’t really mean it (mind you he said he didn’t mean it after I’d taken a bold step with God and decided to shave my hair off for reasons He’s still explaining to me to this very day. The decision to take that step was mainly to honour how God sees me over the eyes of everyone else, including myself. I believe God needed to start a healing process and He knows how to heal each and every one of us in our own unique way). Nonetheless you can imagine my heartbreak; anger; and frustration. I hadn’t asked for this, I didn’t want to feel this way, and about my friend that I didn’t even like in the first place; at times it was so depressing.
But through all of that God released loads of peace and happiness into my life, so much so that after some months had passed I truly felt healed of the heartbreak I thought I’d experienced. And then the unthinkable happened... the feelings returned. And they couldn’t have come at a worse time.
This leads me to the pinnacle of my blog response... I’m working at a new job and I realized only a few shifts in that this particular job isn’t right for me. (I couldn’t have come to this realization at a better time, because this past January 2011 I just started training in my schools post secondary culinary arts program. And I’m sure you’ve already guessed that the job I got was in of course a kitchen... =D)

Beatrice A said...

About a couple weeks after I realized that I do in fact love to cook food, there is something very satisfying about the end result, and a snapshot that just go hand in hand; however to pursue this as a career where I’d have to make further financial investments into the culinary institute I was currently registered in for semesters that would follow my current one... that I just can’t see happening.
So as you can imagine I’ve found myself in a sticky situation because, I want to go where ever I believe God wants me; trying to be obedient to any of His calls is of the upmost importance to me. Being obedient to His directions has helped not only me but others as well. So with faith I’d like to believe that I’ve been following Him according to His will for my life; trusting that even through my mistakes He will still receive the glory from the decisions I make unto Him.

As a result I’m a progressive dropout student; with a willingness to go or do anything I believe is Gods will for my life; however this is my actual conundrum... this place I started working at has a male line cook I find myself attracted to... and the upsetting thing is he’s not even a godly man, and from what I’ve gathered he’s not trying to be. And you’d think this would probably help me loose the attraction towards him almost instantaneously, but it’s not and it’s troubling me a lot because along with that about a week and a half ago I had an inappropriate thought about my co-worker and myself, and as God is my witness that hasn’t happened to me in almost 2 years....
I believe I handled that specific situation as best as I could, because I confessed my troubles to my sister and brother and asked them to pray for me so that I might be healed. And I just thank God with all of my heart because almost instantly it was like there was a block on my mind; like a wall separating my thoughts. Placing the improper thoughts on a side where they seemed blurry and couldn’t enter into my mind; it was almost like the thought was forgotten, you know?
But anyhow now I’m not quite sure what to do. My feelings for my guy friend seemed to have returned, accompanying the new feelings I have for my co-worker. And I’ve been seriously considering asking for a transfer; and that bothers me for 3 distinct reasons. 1st I was just hired and I don’t like the idea of asking to move to another location when they hired me at this specific location because they needed me there; and I believe God placed me there for a reason. 2nd I feel like I’d mainly be transferring because I’m trying to get away from this individual; which is madness because I shouldn’t be runny from anything; God didn’t give me the spirit of fear, but of peace and a sound mind. And the 3rd reason I’m troubled is this new location I’d be asking for the possible transfer to is sort of close to my original residence in another city; and they haven’t opened yet; they’ll be opening anywhere from a few weeks to a couple months maybe.

I can’t believe how much I wrote I’m so sorry. I really just wanted to make sure I gave you as much information as possible; so that it would help with whatever advice you feel led to give me; or anyone else for that matter. I just want to thank you again for taking the time to read all of this, and I hope God gives you a word that you can pass on to me, or anyone else in my situation that will help through what I can only assume is a growing process.
Take Care and God Bless; I hope to hear from you soon.

P.s this is my email address just in case... Beat_rice_13@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Hi. You did such an awesome job!!! Thanx so much. But can u answer a question for me? I already told my crush that I like him (I am a follower of God and he is not. I'm 13) and we decided to move on. But on the 30th, we r going to a ceremony thing to help set up and be staff. He is like my older brother and we have been close friends for some while. My mom will b eyeing us the whole time and I have no intention of doing anything. Have I done anything wrong? Or~ Kendall :)

Ebbs 25 said...

Hi thanks for the usefull information to help me with this feeling. I am having this problem now and i am 17 i think it is a teenage crush, i am a christian and the guy i have a crush on is also but he is older than me like about late 20s. Is this wrong he is a good person and very good man of God(i know there is no chance of anything more than me secretly having a crush on him). he invited my mum and me to see one of his friends at his house becuase he does a lot of missionary work and he is even more amazing close up he kept making me laugh as he tryed to speak my language and it seems like we always catch each others eye. i hope this will blow over because i will be moving soon from the area and dont want this crush to become a total fancy, lovey always thinking about thing becuase it could lead to sin and lust.By the way i havent told him or my mum. Please help Joy or(anyone)! x

Anonymous said...

Thank You sooo much. I'm a guy, sorry, and I found it extremely helpful reading this. It was Godsent for me. THANK YOU!

Cinderella Claudia Jawahar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cinderella Claudia Jawahar said...

Hi Joy,
Thank you so much for posting this blog. God knows that this was an answer to my prayer - I have been struggling to get a hold of these things for a while, especially feeling pressurized and finding myself in unwanted smiley-long-glances situations, this has been an eye opening article to help me realize where I have to change and the one thing that I need to continue doing every time I am around this person - Pray!
Thank you so much again for posting this, may God bless you and keep writing for His glory.
Sorry, I deleted my previous post as it had a spelling error. X

Birdboy029 said...

This works for guys, too!

Just switch the genders in the post. :)

Kayla said...

Dear Joy,

I came across this blog when I did a search on Christians crushing on people. It was very much helpful because I was in shock of something when I was entirely truthful with myself. There is this guy at my church and in the past, I used to have a bit of a crush on him. I went away when I he reminded me of something. So, after a while, I didn't see him and I stopped crushing. When I saw him again after a while, I found myself crushing again. It was kind of a mess because I was aggressive about it. I truly thought that I stopped liking him when in all honesty, I didn't. I was kind of ashamed of myself for liking him. But, coming across this blog, I kinda felt better and when I admitted it to myself that I was stil crushing, I felt more at peace instead of upset. I really enjoyed reading your blog. I'll be back. to read more.


Anonymous said...

Thank you sincerely for this, Joy. It really helped. I've had a crush on a Christian brother at my University, for a while now. Thing is I've never actually said a word to him, but the way we look at each other , it's quite evident that we both feel something for one another. I, just like all these ladies in here, would prefer it if I didn't think about him as much. I've even thought about approaching him a few times, which ends up repulsing me every time! Anyway, it's tough being us girls. Thank you for your help. :)

Andromeda said...

Very interesting post. Mirrors some thoughts I've had and wondered about recently. It helped. But what do you think about celebrity crushes? Are those a sin?

wtze said...

wisdom right there C:

Anonymous said...

Wow thanks Joy! I've been going through a lot lately! But I can't talk to my Mom because she is totally against crushes, so she would just get mad at me for bringing up the subject. I reall y apprecite all your tips! Thanks!


dyana matthews said...

Wrong wrong wrong. Having a crush isnt bad an i don't wanna forget my crush.....getting rid of my feelings only makes me suffer!im not attracted to his looks but his character. As long as we get to know eachother (more) we will be fine.

Anonymous said...

I love this, I was searching for this kind of advice! A lot of other websites were 'nice' but i felt that This was exactly what I agree with and feel good about. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

joy thank you for this inspiring message. Actually I've been suffering this kind of emotion for how many years. Especially when I was in high school, I thought this feeling that easily to like and got crush to the boys quickly will be gone when I entered college. But unfortunately, its what I thought of, this feeling is always repeating. I cant already concentrate to my studies because of just a new guy in our school. Yes I did of what you have told here before I read this but Im already become impatient. Because of this lust love I know, and sometimes it feels good to know that also he likes me back. My only concerned is to worship GOD and concentrate my studies but it always bother me all the time even when I go to church. Is this a punishment because I was then a man hater and I really hate my father. And seems everyday I hate people around me

Unknown said...

Wow, I can't believe I finished reading all those comments! :)
Thank you for this! I kinda need this, because I have this guy friend and we both have deep relationship with God. I think I am having these "annoying feelings" for him and I want to stop it because I want to keep my emotions pure until the right time. Thank you for this! May God bless you more and more each day!

P.S. I was wondering what happened to those who commented here years ago :)

Rica Mae Naquila said...

Wow, I can't believe I finished reading all those comments! :)
Thank you for this! I kinda need this, because I have this guy friend and we both have deep relationship with God. I think I am having these "annoying feelings" for him and I want to stop it because I want to keep my emotions pure until the right time. Thank you for this! May God bless you more and more each day!

P.S. I was wondering what happened to those who commented here years ago :)

Shimmer shine Sparkle said...

Thank so much I am 14 years old and I also know that everything you said is exactly what I agree with. I have been having problems over this guy and that I was trying to look for him on social media because I was completely obsessed and couldn't help myself. Every time I saw him I couldn't stop even thinking about him, staring into his eyes, or when I put my phone down after looking at his pictures without him even knowing (stalker mode) I felt so horrible and I felt so weak. like this is the most messed up thing I could ever do as a Christian. He's on vacation so hopefully that'll help a lot more and I'll be able to improve. But when he comes back on July 7th I just hope things will change for me not to like him anymore or at least things won't turn out awkward . Thanks for your help now I know that I shouldn't feel alone, freaked out, insecure, and negative about my crush. Also I'll try not to think about him either. God bless you so much!!!! 😳☺

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Hi I know I've been here before but if like to thank you again. It turns out that when I finally closed my eyes I realize what a player my last crush was (not a good think). Though I recently got over him I've had two more crushes who I quickly got over them and thought "Wow your advice was powerful." Though now I have another who is becoming a bit hard to get over, but I'm pretty sure reading your advice will help again. Since I sort of forgot about it.

masuki said...

Has a guy ever given you mixed signals?

One minute he’s crazy about you and the next minute you have no clue if he ever wants to see you again?

And it’s especially hard when there’s something special between you and you have no idea what went wrong.

I assure you it’s nothing that you did.

In fact, he may even care about you a great deal and still not be able to stop himself from acting this way.

But why does this happen?

There’s one BIG reason why men do this...

And I discovered this eye opening video that will shed some light on this bizarre behaviour.

Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

It all comes down to a missing “secret ingredient” that not one in a thousand women knows about...

And it’s the biggest factor that determines whether a man just “likes” you...

...or if he sees you as “The One.”

You see, this “secret ingredient” is so important to a man that no matter how attracted to you he is, or how strong your chemistry is...

If it’s missing, he’ll never be able to truly give his heart to you...

And he will always have an unshakeable urge to seek out a woman who has this one “secret ingredient.”

Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> The difference between “like” and “love” (most women miss this)

On the other hand, when you know this powerful “secret ingredient”...

...you won’t believe how effortless, passionate and bulletproof your relationship can be.

Trust me, this is going to blow you away.

Discover it here: ==> Men fall in love with women who have this “secret ingredient”

Thanks again.